Remembrance
by simplyleah
Summary: After becoming a werewolf, Seth imprinted on his best friend, Elsie; he just hasn't told her yet. When the truth finally comes out, will more problems arise? What if Seth isn't the only one keeping secrets? T FOR LANGUAGE. SETH/OC. Imprint Story.
1. Chapter 1

**if you're wondering:**

**CURRENT YEAR: 2009**

**SETH CHANGED: early 2006**

**NEWBORN ATTACK: JUNE 2006**

**RENESMEE'S BORN: SEPTEMBER 2006**

**VOLTURI VISIT: DECEMBER 2006**

**Oh, and Seth and Elsie (and Collin and Suze) are currently in their JUNIOR YEAR!**

**So, this is my first story with an imprint focus. I'm just experimenting, but I hope you like it!**

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_"My heart is yours to fill or burst,__ to break or bury, or wear as jewelry, which ever you prefer."_

~ "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional

**Seth's POV**

"Don't let them kill me. Please!"

I laugh loudly at her words, but the thought of it makes my heart clench. I throw a look at Elsie—short for Elizabeth—and she honestly looked afraid. "El, they're not even hard," I tell her, nudging her with the soft bright yellow ball in my hands.

Elsie shrieks. "It's yellow! I keep on telling you, I always get hit with the—" Just then, a ball flies in between the two people standing in front of us, and hits Elsie in the shoulder. We watch as it bounces off and lands on the floor a few feet away, both of us noting that it's yellow. She groans, and gives me a pointed look, before stomping over to the back of the gym, where everyone who's out has to sit, mumbling under her breath.

It's seventh period, P.E., and we're playing dodge ball. Elsie has this superstition that the world is conspiring against her, because all of the balls that she gets hit with are yellow. It's kind of hilarious. I look briefly over to wear she's sitting, looking annoyed. I can't help but smile. A friend of mine, Collin—one of the boys from the pack—sends me a look from across the gym, where he's standing and talking with Suze, one of Elsie's friends—and his imprint—but I pretend not to notice.

Ever since I imprinted on Elsie two years ago, I've been getting crap from all of the other guys for not telling her. But it's different for me than it was for any of them—Elsie's my best friend, and was before I phased. I didn't want to ruin anything. And besides, she has . . . _a boyfriend. _

The thought of it makes me want to kill someone. Instead, I concentrate on one of the guys on the other side, nailing him in the chest. He groans, but goes to sit out. Another guy, next to him, aims at me, but I snatch the ball before it can touch me. He goes and sits out, too, but since I caught the ball, I gesture for Elsie to come back in the game. She frowns, but trudges back over to me.

"Why couldn't you let me stay out?" she says, looking sullen. A ball flies at her, and she cringes. I grab it before it can hit her. And what do you know? It's yellow. She grimaces. "I hate dodge ball."

I laugh. "That's an understatement, I think," I say, before running forward and nailing Collin, who's not paying attention.

He groans, and, seeing that it's me, shouts, "Come on, Seth! Give me a break!" before walking angrily to the back.

I walk backwards, to wear Elsie's standing, and examine the dark circles under her eyes. I nudge her shoulder gently, breaking her from her thoughts. "Oh—sorry, Seth," she says, rubbing her eyes and leaning into me slightly. I study her worriedly. "I just—" she starts, and her eyes fill.

"Bad day?" I ask, gently, my arms aching to hold her.

El shakes her head. "Bad _week_," she corrects.

"Is it the insomnia again?" I ask, picking up a ball that rolled into my foot, trying to act like I'm participating and not freaking out because my imprint is so miserable. I throw it at one of the other kids, and miss. When Elsie was younger, her older sister died in drunk-driving accident, and she's had trouble sleeping ever since. A few months after it happened, she was diagnosed with insomnia, a sleeping disorder. It went away for a little last year, but then started to come back. Her parents think it's chronic.

Elsie starts to nod, but then seems to hesitate. "Among other things," she says finally.

I frown, but pretend to be studying the other team. "What other things?" She doesn't respond. Worried, I turn to look at her. She's tilting her head back, her fingers under her eyes, and I can tell she's trying not to cry.

"El," I start, but she drops her hands and meets my eyes. A tear falls, but she hastily wipes it away.

"Can we please not talk about it now?" she snaps. "Later, all right?" She must be able to tell I'm really concerned, because she adds, in a less harsh tone, "I promise."

I nod, and rub the back of my neck. "Of course," I say. "I'm still taking you home, right?"

Elsie sighs. "Could we go somewhere else first, maybe?" she asks. "I mean, if you don't have anything—"

"Not if you want me to hang out with you, I don't." Jacob is holding a sort of meeting between our pack and Sam's tonight, but Elsie was my priority, and Jake and Sam know that.

"No, if you have something going on, it's okay. It's really fine, S—"

"Nope. It's set. You're coming over tonight," I tell her, "And you're staying for as long as you want."

She meets my eyes. "Thanks."

I smile. "Don't mention it."

Coach Martin blows his whistle, and tells us to go and change out because we only have eight minutes till last bell rings. I squeeze El's shoulder, and head in the direction of the guys' locker room, but she grabs my arm. I look back.

"Really," she says. "Thanks."

We look at each other for another second, but then I just smile again. "Don't worry about it, El." I turn around, and run into the locker room, hoping one of the showers will be empty still.

**Elsie's POV**

"Have you broken up with Ben yet?" My friend, Suze, asks me the moment I sit down on the bench in the locker room to take off my sneakers.

"No," I say, shoving my shoes back into my locker and taking my dress out of my bag. It's short and flower-covered, and I love it. I pull my shorts off, so I'm standing there in my white boy-short undies and blue P.E. shirt.

Suze, throwing her shirt off, gives me a look. "I thought we agreed you'd do it today."

"I know, but—"

"No buts."

I take my shirt off, and slip my dress over my head. I walk over to the mirror in the corner and pull my messy, wavy, brown hair out of its ponytail, wishing it were longer. "But I don't even know if Seth _likes _me like . . .well, the way I like him."

Suze sighs. "Of course he does! And even if he didn't—which he does—it's not fair to Ben. You don't like him anymore, and you have to tell him that."

The rest of the girls start spilling out of the locker room, and I glance at the clock on the wall. One minute until class gets out. I slip on my sandals, and pick up my backpack.

"I _know_ I have to tell him that," I tell her, but she just shakes her head, and grabs her stuff.

"No, El, you don't." We start heading out of the locker room. "If you did, you would have done it already." She pauses just before we reach the door, and turns on me. "Something else is bothering you about this, and it's not that you think Seth doesn't like you. So what is it?"

I look away. "I don't want to lose him," I say finally, quietly. "He's really the best thing in my life, Suze. Remember how I was in freshman year, when he disappeared for all of those months?"

Suze nods, stiffly. "You were miserable," she says. The bell rings, but neither of us moves.

"Worse than miserable," I respond, scuffing the side of my sandal with my other foot. "I was so depressed." I look back up at her. "And I don't think he knows that. I really, really, don't think I could take him leaving me again."

Suze looks uncomfortable. "El, he had—"

"I know he must have had a reason, Suze. But he never told me what that reason was. He didn't talk to me for almost that entire school year. It was the worst year of my life."

Suze looks sad. "He's not going to leave you," she says. "I promise."

I wish I could believe her.

**Seth's POV**

When the bell rings, and I see that Suze and Elsie still aren't back from the locker room, I meet eyes with Collin, who's across the gym, talking to some other guys. He shrugs, but says something to the guys he's talking to, and then jogs towards me.

"What do you think they're doing in there?" I ask him, tilting my head in the direction of the girls' locker room.

Collin rolls his eyes. "How am I supposed to know?" he says. We watch as everyone else slowly files out of the gym. Collin shuffles his feet. "Should we—"

"No. They're probably just talking. We'll wait a few—"

"But what if—"

The door opens then, and Collin immediately cuts off. Suze walks out first, and meets my eyes. I try and convey my question in my eyes. She shakes her head sadly, before turning to Collin and running into his arms. He kisses her softly, and then pulls her towards the gym doors.

"What was that about?" he says, and the doors shut behind them and I can't hear her response.

Elsie lingers in front of the locker room door, looking dejected, but I walk towards her, and take her hand. I squeeze it tightly before dropping it, and say, "Well, what do you say?"

El's lips quirk up in the corners. "Please get me out of here."

I laugh. "Your wish is my command," I say, and Elsie starts heading for the door, which leads out to the back parking lot, where my old Jeep Wrangler is waiting.

When I bought it, it looked like crap and wasn't even running, but, after a few months of me, Jake, Quil, and Embry working on it, it was like a completely new car. We also fixed up all of the dings and got the paint refinished, so now it's black and glossy. Of course, we installed a new radio, too, but, otherwise, it's a pretty nice car. The seats are black leather, and everything works great. Elsie sometimes jokes about her only hanging out with me because I have such a cool car (which I always respond to by saying that she doesn't even have her license, so she didn't really have much choice but to have me drive her around—even though I have to say I love driving her around—to which she responds by hugging me and telling me—jokingly, of course—how much she loves me—if only—and how I'm so awesome).

We hop into the car, and Elsie immediately reaches for the radio. I shake my head good-naturedly, and I can see Elsie smile in the corner of my eye, which just about makes my day.

"Where to?" I ask, backing out of the parking space.

Elsie looks out the window a moment. "Where are Suze and Collin heading?" she asks, her eyes following Collin's old pick-up out of the lot.

I furrow my brows. When did Jake say everyone was coming over? Was it four, or five? "At Sam's, maybe?" I phrase it like a question, and Elsie can tell that I don't know a hundred percent. She pulls out her cell.

"Hold on," she says. "I'll call Suze."

I pull back into the space so the car behind me can get through.

"Hey, Suze?" she says, uncertainly. I can hear Suze and Collin arguing through the phone, and I don't think it's because of my super werewolf hearing.

_Yeah, Els? Hold on one sec. _She says something to who I assume is Collin still and then returns. _Sorry about that. What's up? Did something happen with Ben? Or, er, Seth?_

I pretend to not hear that, because Elsie clearly doesn't think I would be able to.

Elsie turns red, and throws me a nervous glance. "No! No, everything's fine. It's just Seth and I were wondering where you were heading."

_Oh, we're going to Sam's. The guys are all doing something tonight, and that doesn't start until around five, but Collin and I are just gonna head over early. He'll probably hang out with Sam, but I'll just help Emily make dinner. You guys can totally come and—hold on. _I hear the muffled sound of Collin's voice. _Yeah, Collin says he's sure Sam and Em wouldn't mind. Just head over whenever you want._

"Okay, Suze. Thanks! I'll see you in a little." Elsie hangs up the phone. "They're going to Sam's. They said we could come," she says, not looking at me.

I watch her, until she turns her head to look me in the eye. "What's wrong?" I ask her.

Elsie sighs. "Were you going to ditch Sam's to hang out with me? You really didn't need to do that, Seth. I told you that. I always feel like I'm ruining your plans."

My eyes widen at the mere thought. I start pulling out of the space again, and out of the lot. "Els, I have no idea what you're talking about. I love having you around, and the guys do, too."

Elsie looks away again. "That's not what I mean." She doesn't add anything else, so I decide not to push it. The rest of our drive to Sam's is quiet, but not uncomfortable. My head is pounding, though. Being next to her—_so close_—and not being able to touch her, hold her, causes a sort of indescribable pain.

_You can't do this for much longer,_ I tell myself. _You need to tell her. Soon. _My hands clench on the steering wheel, and my hands shake. We pull up at Sam's, and Elsie opens her door, but doesn't get out, waiting for me. Collin's car isn't here yet, so they must have stopped somewhere first, maybe at his place or Suze's.

"I'll be there in a second," I say through my teeth, glaring through the windshield. "Go inside." Elsie hesitates for a moment, but, seeing that I'm not moving, gets out and walks quickly up to the front porch. She looks at me one more time before going inside. The minute the door closes, I punch the steering wheel and groan. "What are you _doing, _Seth?" I ask myself, I put my hands in my hair. Pain burns behind my eyes. "What are you _doing?_" I lay my head back against the seating rest, and rub my eyes. _You're messing things up, _I tell myself. _You're a dead man. _

I groan through my teeth. What _am _I doing? Someone taps on my window, and my eyes fly open. It's Suze and Collin. I slowly open the door, and Suze steps out of the way. She studies my crazed expression, tangled hair, and red tinged eyes.

"I take it things aren't going well," Suze says.

I give her a look, and laugh without humor. "You could say that."

Suze sighs. "I tried to talk to her again today. She won't listen." I draw in a deep breath through my teeth. Suze looks uncomfortable. "She's still hurting from the first time."

"What first—?" I cut off. "No. She can't be. I didn't mean to do what I did. I . . ."

"I know, Seth," Suze says. "But she doesn't. And she's scared. She's afraid you'll do it to her again."

"Never. I couldn't. That's not—"

"_Seth_," Collin cuts in. "Elsie doesn't know that. And the only way she's going to is if you tell her."

"But what if I mess everything up? What if she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore?"

Suze rolls her eyes. "That's the worst excuse ever. Has that happened yet?"

I hesitate. "No, but—"

"Did Kim run when Jared told her?" Suze cuts in.

"No—"

"Did Rachel run when Paul told _her_?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Did I run when Collin told _me_?"

"No, but—"

"No buts!" she argues, and I get the feeling that her conversation with Elsie was similar to the one we are having right now. "The answer is 'no'. Just plain and simple 'no'. Seth, you're her best friend. She wouldn't give that up for anything." She must see that I'm about to say something back, because she adds, "Not even for Ben. Not even for _me. _And that last one is saying a lot."

I look away, and rub my neck. My brow furrows. "Do you really think so?"

"We know so." Collin wraps his arm around Suze's waist. "Now, I don't know about you . . ." He shoves my shoulder lightly. "C'mon." I get out of the car, and follow Suze and Collin up the stairs, to where the love of my life is waiting.

**Elsie's POV**

When we pulled up at Sam and Emily's, I can't help but notice the way that Seth's jaw is clenched tight and his hands are shaking. It happens sometimes, when he's upset or angry, but didn't start until after those few months when he didn't go to school—when his dad, Harry, died. I start to get out of the car, but when Seth doesn't do the same, I stop.

"I'll be there in a second," he says, not looking at me. "Go inside."

I jumped out of the car—and winced.

Ouch. That pain in my stomach again, the one that's been keeping me up at night. Sort of a gnawing, like something's eating its way through my back. I push the pain away, and run up the porch stairs. I glance back at Seth one more time—he's still sitting there—but feel like I'm going to collapse, so I quickly open the door, which is—as usual—unlocked.

It helped a little if I bent over, so I did exactly that the second I shut the door. Grimly, doubled over, I make my way past the kitchen, where I can hear Emily bustling around, and down the hall to the bathroom. At first, I think I'm going to throw up, but then the pain disappears, as quickly as it'd come. I straightened and regarded my reflection happily. Then I leaned forward, seeing my own dark blue eyes narrow in suspicion. There, right there, on my nose, were seven freckles. I sigh, and leave the bathroom, heading for the kitchen.

Emily, who's standing at the stove, grins at me—on the right side of her face, at least. Everyone had heard about the freak bear attack three years ago. It was so awful, especially because she was—and, truly, still is—so pretty.

"Elsie!" she exclaims cheerfully.

"Hey, Em," I say back, smiling, too. "Where're Bonnie and Sam?" I ask. Last year, Emily and Sam had their first kid—an adorable little girl with curly black hair and gorgeous brown eyes.

Emily rolls her eyes. "Out back with Sam and Embry."

I walk up next to her. "Want some help with dinner?"

Emily picks up the pot of pasta and turns off the stove before dumping it out in the strainer. She glances up at me, smiling again. "I'd love some. I think Suze is coming too, which is great, because we all know how much the boys eat."

I laugh lightly. "Seth clears out the entire refrigerator whenever he comes over."

The front door opens, and Suze walks in, arm-in-arm with Collin, Seth trailing behind. Suze grins at me and kisses Collin on the cheek before pulling away to give me a hug. "Hey!" I say, trying to pretend not to notice how awful Seth looks. His eyes are rimmed in red, his face pale, and his hair sticking up in messy tufts.

Collin clears his throat. "Seth and I are going to go out back."

Emily sighs. "The farther the two of you are away from the food, the better."

Collin just shakes his head and smiles, but Seth doesn't have any reaction in the slightest, other than rubbing his eyes and following Collin out the back door. Emily turns on us the moment the door closes.

"What is going on with Seth?" she exclaims. "I haven't seen him look like that since—well, in a while."

Suze looks away, but I shrug my shoulders. I honestly have no idea. Emily and I both look at Suze. Understanding dawns on Emily's face, and she immediately turns to the refrigerator, taking out butter for the pasta.

She says, back to us, "Elsie, go ask Sam what he thinks the boys will want tonight, if you don't mind, so we can get started, and see if Bonnie is ready for dinner. Suze, do you think you could go and check on the garlic bread that's in the oven?"

Trying not to be offended, I walk over to the back door, and pull it open. I start walking down the back steps, so I can head over to where Bonnie and the boys are, way out by the trees, but suddenly the pain strikes again, and my breath catches in my throat. It was bad—worse than ever before—a deep, twisting burst of agony that made me double over almost immediately. I scramble for the railing on the stairs, but before my fingers can reach it, everything goes gray.

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**What do you think? I was having a lot of trouble with names-I kept on changing Seth's imprint's before I came up with Elsie, which I'm still not a hundred percent sure about. If i change it, i want to change it early on-like now-so if you have a suggestion and really hate the name "Elsie", just let me know! Also, about Suze, i just realized that Seth's mom's name is "Sue" but . . . oh well!**

**PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT!**

**REVIEW**

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	2. Chapter 2

**I hope that the long-ness of this chapter makes up for my lack of posting . . . hope you like it!**

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_"Lend me your hand __and we'll conquer them all, but lend me your heart __and I'll just let you fall.__ Lend me your eyes; I can change what you see. But your soul you must keep, totally free."_

~ "Awake My Soul" by Mumford & Sons

**Seth POV**

When Collin and I make our way through the clearing out back, I feel like my heart's breaking. I know, I'm a guy, and that must sound pretty bad, but it's true. Do you know how hard it is to stay away from your soul mate? Especially when they're not even happy, and you have such a strong pull to them?

I didn't think so.

Sam and Embry are standing out by the edge of the clearing, near the trees, Bonnie—Sam's daughter—sitting in the grass between them. Embry imprinted on Bonnie the moment he saw her in the hospital—and he's been helping Sam and Emily out ever since. At first, Sam was kind of pissed, which you can probably understand, considering she was a few hours old and his daughter, but he also understands how we can't help this sort of thing, and eventually came to terms with it. Right now he's just hoping that she never phases, even though, because of our constant involvement with the Cullens, a family of vampires—their youngest addition, Renesmee, was imprinted on by Jake—the gene probably won't skip generations anymore. When we get over there, I can see that they're watching an owl up in the tree, and Bonnie looks so excited.

I kneel down in front of her when we get over there, and she grins up at me. "Unc-wul Seth!" she exclaims, and leaps into my arms. I hold her tightly, standing back up.

"How's my favorite niece?" I tease. Bonnie just grins, and buries her face in my shoulder. Even though it had been sunny most of the day, it was starting to get cold out.

Sam, Embry, and Collin exchange a look.

"Everything all right, Seth?" Sam asks, looking honestly concerned.

I don't dignify his question with a response.

Embry looks at Collin, and then back at me. "Seth, you need to tell her."

My hands start to shake, but I just think about Bonnie, picture her little body, and how, if I phased right now, with her in my arms, she could be dead in a second.

I glare at Embry. "I know that. And I will."

Sam sighs. "You keep on telling us that, Seth, but you haven't yet, and I'm beginning to think that you're never actually going to. That's part of the reason we're coming together tonight. Jacob and I both are under agreement when we say that if you don't tell Elsie soon, we're going to tell her ourselves. And I know that coming from me, that doesn't mean much, but Jacob is your Alpha, and he's just as sure that this is the right thing for Elsie as I am."

"By waiting longer," Embry adds, "you're putting any chance you have at risk. You're putting _Elsie _at risk."

The thought makes my breath catch in my throat. There's something they're not telling me. "How so?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at Embry.

He sends a cautious glance at Sam, and then a worried look at Bonnie, who's still in my arms. Sam holds out his hands, and I hand her over, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jeans. "We caught a scent yesterday."

My hands clench into fists, and my mind goes into overdrive. "A scent?"

Embry nods. "That's the other reason we're gathering tonight."

I stare at Sam in disbelief.

"You caught a scent and didn't alert everyone right away?" Collin exclaims.

Sam sighs, and he and Embry share a look. "It wasn't in La Push. It was by the border." He meant the border between here—the reservation—and Forks. Way back when, our great grandparents made a treaty with the vampire family—the Cullens—about them not being able to come on our land. The treaty is no longer active, but we still refer to the area between La Push and Forks as 'the border'.

Collin looks at me, incredulous. My head is pounding, and my stomach twists. The thought of Elsie being in danger causes me physical pain. I feel nauseas."That's ridiculous!" Collin exclaims. "I wouldn't care if you caught a scent in _Seattle_! I'd still expect you to tell me so I could take the necessary precautions to make sure my imprint is safe! And I'm sure Seth and Jake and the Cullens and Brady would want to know, too! Especially with Suze and Els, and that hiking club of theirs at school . . . can you imagine if they'd gone on a hiking trip? The fact that you—"

"Daddy!" Bonnie cuts in, poking him in the neck.

"Bonnie, daddy is having a conversation right now. Wait just one—"

"_Daddy_!" Bonnie presses, pointing back towards the house.

The four of us turn around just in time to see Elsie doubled over on the back stairs. As we all watch, shocked, she collapses. I immediately lose any previous train of thought, running as quick as I can. I kneel down at Elsie's side, and brush my fingers across her forehead worriedly. I press my fingers to the inside of her wrist—her pulse is steady—and lean down to check her breathing. It's fine, too. She has a cut on the side of her head, though, where she hit it when she fell, and it's bleeding.

I gently scoop her up in my arms, and Collin holds the door to the house open for me.

"What happened?" Emily asks, looking concerned.

"Oh my god! Is she okay?" Suze exclaims. Sam starts explaining what happened briefly, before following us out of the kitchen.

I hurriedly set her down on the couch in the living room, and then run to the kitchen and wet a few paper towels. I hold them to the side of her head. It's not bleeding much, but she's still not awake, and I'm freaking out. Sam presses a comforting hand on my back, and Collin picks up the phone on the side table.

"We can call Carlisle," he suggests, and I nod, holding out my hand for the phone. I know Edward's number by heart. I dial it as quick and I can make my fingers move, and hold the phone to my ear, pacing in front of the couch impatiently.

"Hello?" Edward answers, and I let out a breath of relief.

"Edward, it's Seth," I say.

"Seth?" he says, sounding confused. "What's wrong?"

"Something happened to Elsie," I tell him, quickly. "I don't know what. She was doubled over, and then she just collapsed, and she hit her head, and I don't know—"

"Seth, calm down. I'll have Carlisle come down there straight away. Where are you? I don't recognize the number."

"I'm at Sam's."

"Oh, Jacob was just about to—"

"Edward, please tell Carlisle to come," I cut in. "I'm sorry, but I'm honestly freaking out."

"No, I understand completely. Hold on." I hear muffled voices, and then the sound of footsteps. "He just left. I'm going to follow after. He'll be there in a few minutes."

I exhale heavily. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be there soon." He hangs up and I set the phone down in the cradle. I get up again, and sit on the other end of the couch, lifting Elsie's head gently onto my lap. I hold the wet cloth to her face, and run my fingers through her hair. A knock comes to the door just two or three minutes later, and Sam opens the door. Carlisle's standing there, his medical bag in his hand.

"I'm here to see Elsie," he says.

"I know," Sam tells him, and then points to me. "She's over there."

Carlisle meets my eyes, and rushes to my side. Sam starts to close the door, but Carlisle says, "Edward should be here in just a moment." Sure enough, as he's speaking, Edward appears in the doorway. Sam lets him by, and soon both Carlisle and Edward are fussing over Elsie, checking her pulse, her breathing, her temperature, her cut. Edward puts a butterfly bandage on the cut, while Carlisle prods her abdomen gently.

"Is she okay?" I ask nervously.

Carlisle looks up from Elsie. "Seems to be. As far as I can tell, there isn't anything physically wrong with her." He studies the circles under her eyes. "Although lack of sleep may have something to do with it."

I run my fingers through her hair gently. "A few years back, when her sister died, she was diagnosed with insomnia."

Carlisle nods. "That might be it." He starts gathering all of his things. Edward's head snaps up to look in the direction of the kitchen. He rolls back on his heals a moment, looking confused, before standing up and walking slowly towards Sam, who's standing at the bar, Bonnie in his arms.

"You caught a scent?" Edward asks, looking between Sam and Embry.

Embry chugs the rest of his glass of water. "Yeah. Yesterday, out by Forks."

Edward's brow furrows, and he meets eyes with Carlisle, who had gone stiff at Edward's question.

"Anything familiar?" Carlisle asks.

"Familiar?" Sam repeats, and snorts. "I don't keep vampire friends, bloodsucker."

Carlisle sighs. "I meant a scent you recognized from the Volturi visit."

Sam looks over at Embry, and then back at Carlisle. They both shake their heads.

"Nothing," Embry says.

"Feel welcome to send someone from your family in an hour or so if you'd like to be more informed. We're having a meeting tonight," Sam offers.

Edward nods. "Jacob mentioned it. I'll probably come back later. Thank you." Sam nods, looking uncomfortable like he always does when the Cullens seem like real people and not heartless monsters. Edward turns to the door. "I'll see you at the house, Carlisle. Bye, Seth." He runs out the door.

Carlisle places a hand on my shoulder. "Elsie will be fine. If she doesn't feel well later, don't hesitate to call."

I nod, holding my hand to the side of Elsie's face. "Of course."

He smiles slightly, and then follows after Edward.

Suze lets out a breath the moment they leave. "Sorry. They kind of freak me out."

I shoot her a look. "They're great people."

She nods. "I'm not denying that."

Elsie starts to stir in my lap, and I immediately return my focus to her.

"Elsie," I say softly, still running my fingers through her hair. She rolls over slightly, and her eyelids flutter. "Elsie," I say again. Her eyes snap open, and she sits up fast before closing her eyes, like she's in pain. I pull her to me, holding her up. "Els, are you okay? You almost gave me a heart attack."

She leans into me. "Just peachy," she mutters.

I can't help but smile at that one, and hold her closer than I'd ever dared before. She relaxes in my arms. "You thirsty?" I ask her.

She nods. "Yes. Can I have a Coke?"

"_Water._" I say, and scoot out from under her. She groans, and I kneel down next to the couch. "Where does it hurt?" I ask, concerned.

"My head," she says, "and _here._" She runs her hand over her abdomen when she says that, where Carlisle had been probing minutes before.

I nod, and squeeze her hand gently before standing back up and heading to the kitchen to get her a water. "I'll get you an Advil," I tease her, getting the pitcher from the fridge and pouring a glass. I ignore the looks Emily and Suze are giving me from where they're standing at the stove.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO IBUPROFEN."

I laugh lightly. "I know, Els. I was just messing with you." I turn to Emily then. "Do you guys have any Tylenol?"

Emily nods. "I'm sure we do somewhere. Just give me a second." She walks out of the kitchen, leaving Suze to keep an eye on the food. Suze sticks her tongue out at me, and I do the same back at her before heading back to Elsie.

"Water," Elsie says, sticking her hand out. I pass it to her.

"Emily's going to get you some Tylenol."

Elsie raises her eyebrows at me. "Thanks." I sit down on the couch at Elsie's feet. I pull them up onto my lap, and slip off her sandals. I look up at Elsie's face just as she shivers and goose flesh spreads across her legs. She smiles sheepishly at me, before tucking her feet under my thighs, sighing deeply.

Emily comes back, then, a blanket tucked under her arm and two pills in her hand. She gives Elsie the two pills, and then throws the blanket over her.

"Thanks, Em," I say distractedly, noticing how, after Elsie swallowed the pills, she rolled onto her side and pulled her legs to her chest, her eyes shut tight. I scoot closer to her, laying my hand on her ankle, jiggling her foot a little. I note that this is a safe spot for me to touch her—nothing inappropriate, nothing out of the friendship zone. Elsie's eyes open a little, but they're glassy. Her porcelain skin, usually beautiful in contrast to her deep brown hair, unique in the sea of tan skin, now looks sickly white, all color drained from her cheeks. "You okay?"

Elsie shakes her head tiredly, her eyes slipping shut. I brush my fingertips across her forehead, tuck a stray curl behind her ear, all sense of boundaries forgotten.

"Suze?" I call, semi-quietly. She comes out from around the counter, looking worried.

"Yeah?"

I pull my car keys from the front pocket of my jeans, and toss them to her. "Grab Elsie's phone, will you? I want to be able to call her dad if she's not alright."

Suze's eyebrows draw together, but she nods, heading out the front door. I glance back down at Elsie, who seems to have fallen asleep. I rub her leg lovingly, before leaning my head back against the pillows, and shutting my eyes.

**EPOV**

Around a quarter to five, Emily offers to lend me some sweats or something warmer before everyone started showing up; we'd be having a bonfire out back at Em and Sam's little fire pit. After taking a twenty minute nap, I'd woken to the sound of Collin and Seth's hushed voices, the blanket Emily had brought over wrapped tightly around me. My dress was wrinkled from sleeping—and it wasn't very comfortable any longer—so I told Emily that changing would be great. She led me to her and Sam's room down the hall.

When we get there, she gestures for me to sit down on the bed, and I do. Then she shuts the door, and turns on me.

"What's going on between you and Seth?" she asks.

I look away. "Nothing, Emily." _Even though I wish something were. _

Emily sighs. "Elsie, there's definitely _something _going on between the two of you."

I don't respond for a moment. Should I ask her? No . . . but I really want to. Should I? I sigh, and force the question out. "How did you know that you were in love with Sam, Emily?" I ask her, quietly. She'd been about to say something, but now her mouth snapped shut and she stared at me.

"I wasn't going out with someone else, for one thing," she says, shooting me a pointed look. "But I knew because he was the only one that could make me smile all the time, and the only person that I actually would want to spend an entire day with. I knew because he made me laugh. I knew because . . . he was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And I knew because I was miserable whenever he wasn't there, and my biggest fear in the world was losing him." She gives me another look, this one softer, gentler. "Sound familiar?"

I look down at my hands, and nod. "Yeah."

Emily sits down next to me on the bed, and takes my hand from my lap, squeezing it tightly. "I know it's hard to tell for sure, Elsie, but if you think you are, you probably are. And you have to understand that nothing hurts Seth more than seeing you unhappy—and seeing you with _him_."

I sigh, and lean back on the bed. "I don't know how to do it though. What can I say? Oh, sorry I haven't been talking to you, Ben, and have been avoiding you and ignoring your calls, but I just don't like you anymore, because I'm in love with—" I break off. "Did I just—?"

"Yeah, you did." Emily takes a deep breath. "You don't want to hurt this other guy, either, do you?"

I shake my head. "No. Not at all."

"Then tell him part of the truth. Tell him you don't like him anymore. Don't pull the whole 'we can still be friends' bit, because you know you can't. Tell him you're sorry. And that's all." I rub my eyes. Emily pats my knee, and then gets up and grabs a pair of sweats and a comfy, worn t-shirt from her drawers. She also grabs a sweatshirt from the closet. She sets the clothes down on the bed next to me. "Get changed, Els. And stop worrying. Everything will turn out fine in the end."

I change quickly, folding up my dress and sticking it on the floor next to Emily's dresser. I'll come grab it before I leave. I hear the sound of the door slamming open, and the loud guffaws of the rest of the boys—Jake, Quil, Jared, and everyone else.

I slip into the hallway, and make my way back into the kitchen, fingering the bandage Seth put on my forehead, where I cut it when I fell. Right now, there's the constant pressure along my back, threatening to escalate into the mind-blowing pain that had struck me, once again, while I was on the couch before. Seth meets my eyes when I walk into the room, and I tiredly say high to everyone else. Jake pulls me into a gentle hug.

"Are you all right? I heard you took quite the fall today." He smiles a little. I really, really, like Jacob. He's one of my favorites out of all the boys—aside from Seth, of course.

"I'm fine," I murmur. Despite liking Jacob so much, I really don't have the energy right now, and my head is starting to pound. When I look over at Seth, I see that his eyes are still on me, his expression concerned. He hurriedly walks across the room.

"How do you feel?" Seth asks me, taking my hand and squeezing it gently, worry burning in his eyes.

I rub my eyes. "I'm okay," I say. "Really." But my voice cracks, and Seth hears it. I try to ignore the look that he gives me. Suze walks up to us through the crowded room, and puts her hand on my arm. Her lips are pressed into a thin line, her eyes conveying something I can't interpret.

"Can I talk to you, Elsie?" she says. My eyes widen at her flat tone.

"Uh, yeah. Where do you . . ."

Suze sighs, but turns on her heel. I follow her out of the kitchen and down the hall by Bonnie's room. We look at each other a moment, and then she pulls a phone out of her pocket—_my_ cell phone?

"Why do you have my phone?" I ask, cautiously.

"Seth wanted me to grab it, in case you ended up really being hurt."

My eyebrows furrow. "Okay, but—"

"Have you been ignoring Ben, Elsie?" Suze demands, her tanned face flushed. I feel the familiar warmth spread across my cheeks, and Suze runs her fingers sloppily through her hair. "Els, you can't keep on doing this. He's just going to keep on trying to talk to you, and you're going to have to talk to him eventually."

I look away, and lean against the wall. "I know. I know, Suze. It's just—"

My phone starts to ring then, a loud sound in the quiet hallway. I snatch it from Suze's hands._ Ben. _

I take a deep breath, before answering the call. "Hey, Ben."

"Elsie!" he exclaims. "You haven't been answering your phone. Are you all right?"

My head pounds and my heart clenches. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I didn't see you all day today."

"Yeah . . . I had to catch up on some work in one of my classes at lunch, and I'm at Sam Uley's house right now . . ."

Ben exhales, and I can almost feel the tension through the phone. "Is Seth there?"

"I—well, yeah, but so is everyone else." I bite my lip. "Is everything okay, Ben?"

"Yeah, I just—can we talk tomorrow, Els?"

I drum my fingers against my thigh. "Yeah. Of course."

"Okay, Elsie. I'll see you, then."

I pause before responding. "Yeah, okay. See you tomorrow." Ben hangs up.

Suze glares at me, a look I haven't seen directed at me in a while. "You need to deal with this, Elsie," she says, her voice harsh. "Or else."

My eyebrows furrow, but she walks away before I can ask—_or else . . . what?_

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**So . . . what do you think?**

**Review, please! I'll update again soon! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, guys! This chapter is verryyyy important. Not much happens, but it is THE MOST IMPORTANT chapter so far. You learn a few things you didn't know before, and these things are all things you need to know, because they are important during the rest of the story. I feel pretty confident about this one! Enjoy!**

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_I met you at a time in my life when I was lost, when I was down,__ and every hope had hit the ground. I couldn't see how good you were, I was blind; I didn't know what I was looking for. It's funny sometimes how it all comes around, like a sound and like a style, it's lost and it's found. Now it's the time to call it a day, it's getting old, it's getting late. There's only so much I can say._

~ "You're What I'm Looking For," by Rooney

***ELSIE*POV**

_I remember what happened the night Annie died more vividly than I remember any other night of my entire life. I was thirteen and in eighth grade; Annie was sixteen and a junior in high school, the same age I am now. There was a big party that night—for no reason, really, other than the fact that it was a Friday, and people nowadays are too antsy to have nothing to do. Annie's friends were all going, but she just wanted to stay home and hang out. But, of course, I tried to convince her to go out. Annie, unlike me, was pretty, popular, and liked by everyone. _

_ " C'mon, Annie! " I'd exclaimed, throwing myself down on her bed. " Please go! It'll be so much fun! You haven't gone to a party since Homecoming! " _

_ Annie had frowned at me from where she sat at her desk, shuffling through some school papers. "I have a final on Monday."_

_ "But Meghan said that Sean would be there," I pressed. Meghan was one of my sister's closest friends at the time and Sean was her crush of the moment. Or, so I'd thought. _

_ Annie grimaced. "I know." _

_ It had seemed to me, at the time—in my ignorant thirteen year old mind—that she was trying to avoid him because she liked him, which was probably the main reason why I kept on trying to convince her to go. Finally, she agreed, and got changed out of her favorite sweats—an old, cozy pair that I'd always envied her for—and into the new jeans Mom had bought her, and a cute top. _

_ On her way out of the house, Annie had complimented me on my hair, which looked wavy—and not frizzy—due to my new hair product discovery. It was one of those perfect nights—one of the ones where we actually got along, and the only thing we fought about was whether her ballet flats or sandals looked best with her outfit. _

_I was having one of my nights, though—one of those nights where I was feeling generally unsocial. Seth hadn't been in school for two months, and I had long given up on trying to contact him or see him, especially when the only thing I could get out of his mom, Sue (who I honestly loved), and older sister, Leah, was that he was sick, and wouldn't be coming back to school in a while. Apparently, when you're sick, you can't see anyone, call anyone, text anyone, email anyone, _nothing. _Right. And we hadn't heard from my older brother, Jack, who was supposed to be coming home in two weeks for Thanksgiving, since, well . . . too long to even remember. My point is: I was miserable, through and through. Even then—especially then, in junior high, when so many things were going wrong—Seth was my best friend. And he had been, ever since second grade, when I was seven and my family had moved onto the reservation, after my grandfather died. _

_ So on this particular Saturday night, I'd picked one of my favorite movies, _The Princes Diaries, _(my ultimate comfort movie, aside from _Mean Girls) _to watch, and was just about finished with it when the phone started ringing._

_ See, in my house, the home phone almost never rings. My whole family was—and is—more cell phone oriented, and sometimes, on a rare day when people (usually solicitors) wouldn't stop calling, my dad would even unplug the phone. So the phone ringing then, on a Friday night, at almost midnight, sent my parents running down the stairs in their bathrobes faster than you would believe, headed for the one home phone we had left in the whole house—the one on the kitchen counter. The way my house is set up, we have all of the bedrooms upstairs (there're four), and then just about everything else downstairs. The living room and kitchen are right next to each other, and the laundry room is down the back hall, near the back door, which leads to a little clearing—right into the woods. So when my parents came running into the kitchen, I could see the light flicker on in the corner of my eye, and immediately shot up off the couch when I finally registered the irritating ring. When I finally got the energy to walk into the kitchen, I was more than surprised at what I saw: my mother and father, the phone pressed to their faces, between them, expressions stricken._

_ "What is it?" I'd asked. "Who are you talking to?"_

_ Dad swallowed, hard. "Go up to your room, Elisabeth."_

_ "But—"_

_ "Now."_

_ I'd sighed, but grudgingly made my way up the stairs and down the hall, wondering. Just wondering. About if things would change, when I was finally in high school. If I could ever be like Annie, be the daughter my parents had such high hopes for. If Seth really _could_ see me, but just didn't want to. But most of all, I wondered—_why did I care so much?

_Of course, I stayed awake for another hour or so, my mind too awake, racing, and was just about to—finally—switch out the lights, when a knock came to my bedroom door. _

_ I'd rolled my eyes; what had taken my parents so long? I shuffled out of bed, and slipped the door open—to see something I never, ever want to see again._

_ It was my dad, and he was crying, his eyes rimmed in red, my mom standing close behind him. Their tears were silent, like someone dying, quietly, accepting their death as it happened. Like Romeo and Juliet in the tomb. _Silent.

***SETH*POV**

Sometime around seven, after everyone'd eaten, everyone's imprints started heading home, well aware that we had real business to tend to, things that they didn't need—or want—to hear, especially not until we were fully aware of the situation, which most of us—including me—were not. Edward was heading over soon, too. Elsie, miserable-looking, sitting outside next to me in tattered sweats and a faded sweatshirt, seemed on the verge of falling asleep. Suze was the only other imprint left at this point—Sam and Jake had said it was alright if she stayed, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to hear what was going to be said . . . and Collin wasn't sure he wanted her to hear it, either. Elsie was clearly avoiding heading home—something that was obvious to me because, normally, she'd tell me exactly when she was too tired. Not tonight, though.

I tell her I'll be right back, making off like I'm going to talk to Collin, when I really just want to talk to Suze. "Can Elsie sleep over at your house?" I murmur, quietly, so, on the off chance Elsie was paying attention, she wouldn't hear me.

Suze's eyes tighten in the corners and so does Collin's arm around her shoulder. "Elsie and I . . . aren't seeing eye to eye right now."

My eyes narrow. "What do you mean?" Suze doesn't respond, looking nervous. I sigh, my heart sinking in my chest I look away, and rub my eyes. Around this time, three years ago, Annie died. Three years and six days ago, to be exact. For me, whenever the time of my father's death rolls around, I'm never alone. The whole pack, and all of the elders, mourns his death along with me, Leah, and my mom. Elsie—all she has is her parents, who become so involved in distracting themselves that they forget to worry about her, and her older brother, Jack, who's twenty six and in medical school back east, and doesn't even have the mind to pick up the phone and check in every once in a while. So every year, when this time comes, it's always me and Suze, trying to hold Els together with tape and glue. "You don't need to tell me why," I finally say. "I just—I need to know that you're here for her, especially right now."

Suze's expression softens. "Always, Seth. I just . . . She wouldn't want to stay over, anyway. She's better off at her house."

I take a deep breath but nod, pinching the bridge of my nose between tight fingers. "'Fine. See you in a little, Collin." I turn to where Elsie's still sitting, and find her, asleep, leaning against a log positioned near the fire. My heart breaks, seeing at how tired and hopeless she looks, even when she's asleep. I walk over and kneel down, shaking her shoulder gently. "Els, you gotta wake up. It's time to go." Her eyes open slowly, looking up at me with misery evident. I grab her hand, and lightly brush my thumb across her knuckles, before gently pulling her up. She leans into my side, her exhaustion obvious. Jake meets my eyes from across the fire pit, and I see a sort of understanding, realize that he sees exactly what I see—how miserable Elsie truly is. And underneath that understanding, I see the message that I don't need to rush; no vampire is going to show up during the next thirty minutes.

Elsie's house is close to Sam and Emily's, just down the street from my own house; with the reservation just being the size of a regular neighborhood, most of us live within walking distance of each other. Elsie's almost completely out during the car ride, and I don't mind completely; I really, really need to think.

***ELSIE*POV**

When we pull up at my house, my eyes snap open; the sensation of the car stopping was enough to shake me out of my light sleep. I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and turn to Seth.

"Thanks," I tell him, my mind burning with things left unsaid, with Ben needing to talk to me and Suze's threat.

His dark eyes look sad, and his deep brown hair, shaggy, is falling across his forehead sloppily. Suddenly, I want nothing more than to brush that hair back from his eyes and kiss him, but I can't. Not until Ben and I talk. Still, when Seth pulls me against his chest, tucking my head under his chin, my heart flutters like a moth's wings in my chest. I pull back after a moment, and Seth's lips brush my forehead.

"Good night. Call me if things are really bad, okay?"

It's that, that right there, that snaps me out of it. Of course things are really bad—and he knows I'm not going to call him. He knows I don't want to depend on him when things at home are worse than normal . . . especially when normal isn't so great to begin with. He must know that I can't _really _put everything on him like that, not after he disappeared last time.

After a moment of weighted silence, I push the car door open, and slip into the chilly night, still warm in Emily's old sweatshirt. I look into the window, and Seth climbs out too, jogging around the car, and pulling me into another hug. I linger there as long as I can, before pulling away and hurrying across the lawn. Seth's still standing there, making sure I don't get stranded outside my house. In spite of my stress and exhaustion, I manage to smile as I pull my keys out of my backpack, and shake them out at Seth. He leans against the side of his car, crossing his arms.

"I was being serious," he tells me, as quietly as he can across the expanse of the lawn. "I'll see you in the morning, Els."

I have the door open now, and I wave at Seth, savoring the first warm blast of the heater, before shutting the door behind me and making my way through the living room—where I see my father, sitting on the couch, alone, in the dark. He looks up at me as I come in, giving me a rare, wary, smile. I don't make the effort to smile back, but walk over and kiss his cheek. "I'm really tired," I tell him. "I'm going to go to bed."

Dad nods. "See you in the morning, honey."

I turn then, and make my way upstairs, not even pausing in the hallway when I hear my mother's choked sobs.

***SETH*POV**

I wait a few more seconds, idling outside of Elsie's house, sitting on the edge of her driveway, facing my car, keeping my ears peeled for any sounds of an argument. As I sit there, I turn to watch when the light in Elsie's room upstairs switches on, and fight against the ache in my chest, telling me to take her, take her right now, make her mine, before it's too late. The curtains move, and then Elsie is opening the window. She makes a face at me, and gestures down the street, silently asking why I haven't left.

I shrug at her, and she sighs loudly, before gripping the window sill and throwing one foot out onto the expanse of the roof next to her. I stretch out my legs in front of me, watching for any signs that she's going to fall, but she gracefully grabs the branch of the old pine tree that is level with her room, and swings onto the larger branch five or so feet below it, my sensitive ears picking up on the crackling noise of bark under her feet. When she finally makes it down, I notice the old pair of sweats she probably changed into, faded and worn, and that she's barefoot. She moves across the lawn silently, but I still see her father hesitate as he walks through the living room, and I know that he's aware that I'm still outside, and that Elsie scaled the tree. He doesn't come out though, and then Elsie is sitting down next to me in the driveway, so I shift my attention to her. She sits down about a foot away from me, and I know that it's intentional.

"Suze is mad at me," she says, her voice loud in the silence of the night, no sounds but the soft chirrups of the crickets in the grass.

I nod. "I know," I tell her, because she expects me to.

Elsie sucks on her lip thoughtfully, but I can see the red rims around her bloodshot eyes. I can see how much this is eating at her, how much she's hurting.

"I'm breaking up with Ben tomorrow," she finally says. I try not to let my emotions show on my face, even though Elsie isn't looking at me. I know she's waiting for me to say something, anything, but I just watch her. She's looking across the street, at her neighbor's house. I follow her gaze, and notice the little white cat sitting next to the mailbox.

No one says anything. Elsie sighs, and stands up. "I'll see you tomorrow, Seth."

"I'm not going anywhere," I tell her, just as she starts to walk away. She sucks in a breath and stops, but doesn't turn around. "I need to know that you know that." I stand up, too. "I won't leave you, Elsie. Ever."

Elsie doesn't respond, but, after another weighted moment, she continues walking across the lawn, and scales the tree quickly, climbs into her window, and shuts it tight . . . all without looking back.

***ELSIE*POV**

Sitting underneath the window, knees pulled to my chest, I listen closely for the sound of Seth driving away. My heart is racing—he said exactly what I needed to hear but, for some reason, I don't feel the way I thought I would, once I knew he wasn't going to abandon me again. I don't feel reassured. I sit there, hands clenched into limp fists in my lap, until long after Seth leaves, wondering why I didn't say anything more—why I told him about Ben, why I didn't respond when he said what he did. Why I left.

Finally, I get up to brush my teeth and change into a pajama shirt, staying in my sweats—just like the pair my sister had, just like the pair I'd always been jealous of. Turns out it just took some time, for them to be exactly the way I wanted them to.

When I climb into bed, I look around my room. Do things look different than they did three years ago? Do _I _look different? Would Annie recognize me, if she saw me now? If only I had an answer.

I switch off the light next to my bed, and the nightlight in the corner of my room slowly turns on, automatically, in my newly darkened room. Without thinking, I rap on the wall three times—_Goodnight, Annie._

I wonder if my parents here it, down the hall, if they remember when it was six raps—three from me, three from her, every single night. I'm sure they do. And I'm sure they understand why I still do it now, even when nobody is there to even acknowledge it being done, no sign but the aching in my heart and the silence that rings in my ears. I pull the sheets tight around me; bring my knees to my chest.

Does she miss me, too?

My cell phone buzzes on the night stand next to me, and I quickly switch on the light again, snatching my flashing phone and answering the call, not looking to see who it is.

"Hello?" I say.

The response is slow but, when it comes, I know who it is immediately. "Elsie, it's—"

"What do you want, Jack?" I snap, my voice harsh.

"I just . . . Where are mom and dad? They aren't answering their phones."

"Jack, just tell me what you want, so I can hang up." My head pounds and my heart aches painfully. How can you hate someone, and still miss them so much it hurts?

"I have time off school," he says finally, "and I'm coming home a little early."

"That's great, Jack. Can I hang up now?"

Jack is quiet, and then he clears his throat. "I'm coming in tomorrow. Just tell mom and dad for me."

"Whatever, Jack," I say, and hang up. I drop the phone onto the bed, and wrap my arms around my legs, dropping my forehead to my knees. Before I know it, I'm crying, my tears soaking into the fabric of my pants, my hand itching to pick up the phone and call Jack again, tell him I'm sorry, even though I know that he never apologized to me. Even though I know he always cared about Annie more than he did about me, and I still hate her for it. Even though I'm still jealous of her, when I'm the one alive and she's long gone.

And I wonder, for a fleeting moment—does he miss me as much as he misses her?

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**Review, please! I barely got any reviews last time, and I'd really appreciate some! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay. This chapter is, truly, epic . . . AND OVER 6,000 WORDS! You guys better appreciate this, because I've gotten like NO reviews lately, and I've actually been updating. So it's really upsetting for me. Anyway, hope you enjoy . . . it is pretty intense, if I say so myself. **

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_"Pull of the ocean and the roaring tide is bigger than my eyes or my design . . . I've waited and I'll wait some more; [you] won't see me knocking on another door."_

"Where We Gonna Go From Here" by Mat Kearney

***SETH*POV**

When I finally get to Sam and Emily's, everyone is sitting around the fire out back, including Edward and Carlisle. Suze has left, and Emily has gone inside. Everyone looks up when I walk in: seventeen werewolves, two vampires.

When Edward's daughter, Renesmee, was imprinted on by Jake three years ago, a huge fight ensued—between us (the wolves and the vampires) and the Volturi (these creepy-as-hell vampires that are, like, vampire royalty). That year our numbers more than doubled because of our proximity with all of the Cullens—Edward's family—and the Cullens' vampire friends. And during that time, before the battle, because of our conflicting opinions, Jake left the pack, and my sister and I followed. After the battle, a few other wolves joined our pack—Collin, Brady, Quil, and one new wolf, Keon—which cemented the division; we weren't ever going to be a single pack again. But we have meetings occasionally, like this one, with all of us. Mostly, the elders don't get involved any more. We need to handle these things ourselves, now.

Jake waves me over, and I settle down against a log next to him. "Be prepared," he murmurs, under his breath.

I look at him in the corner of my eye. "For what?"

He raises an eyebrow, and stands up. Sam follows his lead, and the two of them, our Alphas, stand at a gap in our circle, side by side.

"As you all know," Sam starts. "We have some things to tend to." His gaze hesitates on me, as his eyes travel over our large group.

Jake clears his throat. "First things first. I'm assuming most of you know about the vampire near the border by now—"

"Yeah, thanks for the warning, Jake," Keon says, under his breath, but the comment silences the group completely. Jake meets Keon's gaze. A muscle in his jaw twitches, but Keon looks away.

"We're going to deal with it as best as we can," Sam says, breaking the silence. "There haven't been any deaths, and nobody saw anything on patrol today, so right now we're going with the assumption that whoever it was left, but—"

"—but we're not taking the threat lightly," Jake says, his eyes falling on Keon.

"There's not much we can do right now," Sam says, "aside from tightening our patrols, and making sure everyone keeps an eye on their imprints at all times."

Collin, who's sitting on my right, nudges my shoulder. "We're not letting Elsie or Suze go on that hiking trip next week," he whispers. Jake and Sam don't acknowledge his comment.

"Seth and Keon," Jake says. "You're on patrol tonight around La Push. Embry and Jared, you're on patrol around the border. Stay tight, guys. We don't want anything close to home, alright?"

Embry, Jared, Keon, and I share a weighted look, before turning back to Sam and Jake. Leah meets my eyes for a moment from across the fire, silently warning me to be careful.

Sam raps his knuckles on his thigh. "Quil, Brady, Collin, and Nate—you're on morning shift, four until twelve. Collin and Brady, you're going to have to miss your first three classes, but you're going to have to suck it up." Collin's lips press together in a thin line. Sam turns to me. "You, Jared, Embry, and Keon will be making up the two hours tomorrow night—six until eight, and then we pick up again in the rotation: that means me, Paul, Ben, and Lukas, then Jake, Matt, Nick, and Taylor in the morning, alright?"

The two packs grumble in agreement, and then move to stand up. But Jake holds up a hand. "We're not done here," he growls, and everyone sits down, some wincing at the tone of his voice. I look into the fire, knowing what's coming next.

"I know we've never established rules regarding imprints before," Sam says, "because we've always let all of you take things at your own pace. But," he says, his voice hardening. I can feel his gaze burning into me. "It's never taken this long before, with the exception of those of us who imprint on children."

"This has to stop, Seth," Jake says. "If you don't take care of it, we're going to. Soon."

I swallow, and bite my lip. "She's breaking up with him," I say, quietly. "Tomorrow."

"What?" Jake asks.

"She's breaking up with him tomorrow!" I growl. "Alright? I'll deal with it." I glare at Jake and Sam, force myself up, my hands clenched into tight fists. "She's going through stuff, and I don't understand why that's so hard for all of you to understand. Her sister _died._"

"Seth," Jake says, his voice soft. "We all—"

"No, you don't. Have you seen her every day since it happened? Have you seen what it's done to her? Do you know that she doesn't sleep anymore?" I'm shouting at him, my whole body shaking with angry tremors. I back away a few feet. "Do you know that she told me she was considering suicide, just last year? _Do you know what that does to me?_"

"Seth—"

I turn around, and sprint into the cover of the trees behind me, just seconds before I phase.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Six hours later, at four o'clock in the morning, I'm still seething. The fact that we didn't catch any sign of the vampire on patrol has not helped my mood in the slightest. Still in wolf form, I hesitate as I pass the thick woods behind Elsie's house, but don't stop. I keep running, until I'm at my house. I find the small shed out back, and phase just outside, quickly. I throw on a pair of sweats that I always keep inside the shed, and then make my way up the back steps. Leah is waiting in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hand.

She looks up as I walk in, and slides a steaming cup over to me. "Are you all right?" she asks me, her voice soft. This is when I love my sister, when she's like I remember her before Sam and Emily, before Dad died.

I nod, and hunch over the cup of coffee, sliding into one of the mismatching chairs surrounding the counter.

"I hate to do this, but I have to ask . . . are you going to talk to her? Really?"

I bite my lip a moment, thinking. Am I really? Was I just saying that earlier, to placate Jake and Sam? Or did I mean it?

"I think so," I finally tell my sister. "I mean, I hope so. I want her to know. And I know that that's the only way I can ever _really _be there for her. But I'm still afraid—I'm still scared to death about losing her." I hug my fingers around the warmth of the mug, savoring it. "But I'm even more scared to lose her before she knows . . . how much I love her." I pick up a quarter that's sitting on the counter, and spin it between my index and thumb. "Things are different than they used to be, before the Cullens and before everything happened. I love her, Leah, more than you—or anyone else—can understand. Even Jake, and Quil, and Collin; I think that, because I've held on so long, because of her, _for _her, I love her even more than I would otherwise. I appreciate every moment with her." I rub my hand across my forehead. "I've got to get to bed, Le-Le. It's twenty past, and I have to pick up Elsie at seven thirty."

I down my coffee quickly, and then walk around the counter to give my sister a kiss on the cheek, setting my empty cup in the sink as I go around. "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

Leah nods. "I have to patrol tomorrow from 1 to six, so I won't see you until after, but yeah. Night, Seth."

I smile at her over my shoulder, running upstairs to the awaiting comfort of my bed.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

When my alarm goes off, set for 5:58, I have—literally—slept for an hour and thirty eight minutes. Regardless of the weight of my limbs and my eyelids, I slowly make my way out from the warmth of my cocoon of sheets, and down the hall towards the bathroom. I pass Leah's room on the way, and she's sitting on her bed, staring at the ceiling. "Le?" I ask, my voice hushed so as to not wake up Mom; she doesn't have to go to her flower shop until eight.

Leah looks over at me, in her doorway. "Yeah?"

"Did you not sleep?"

She sits up, plucks a loose thread in her comforter. "I don't know. A little, maybe. A few minutes. I'm fine. Get in the shower, kid. I can smell you from here." She smirks at me when she says this, and, wolf-quick, throws a pillow at my head. I catch it midair, and toss it back at her, smiling in spite of myself. Just as I'm about to turn into the bathroom, she says, "Seth?" and I lean back a foot, peaking my head into her room.

"Yeah?"

She points at me teasingly, mock-serious. "Banana pancakes?"

I laugh. "Yeah, gorgeous. And make some for Elsie, while you're at it."

Leah grins, rolls her eyes. "Of course."

***ELSIE*POV**

Waking up the next morning is not easy. I feel compelled to ignore my dad's obnoxious knocks on my bedroom door, but then I think of Seth, which makes me think of Suze, which makes me think of Ben, which makes my head pound. I throw my legs over the side of my bed.

"I'm up, I'm up!" I shout, standing up and opening my door. I smile sheepishly. "Good morning, Dad."

Dad raises his eyebrows challengingly. "Did you forget to set your alarm?" he asks, the corner of his lips twitching. This is when my dad is in a good mood—the morning, when the full weight of the day hasn't fallen on his shoulders, when he hasn't looked at his calendar yet and realized that it's one less day until it's _the _day, and then the countdown starts all over again. He kisses me on the cheek. "Good morning, Els."

I throw my hair into a pony tail, slipping past him and into the bathroom. "Where's Mom?" I ask.

Dad's smile fades fast, and so does the light in his eyes. "Running some errands. Why?"

I swallow. "Jack called."

I see my dad's expression change again, harden. "What about?"

I clear my throat, itch an itch that isn't really an itch on my arm. "He has time off school. He's coming in today."

Dad runs shaky fingers through his hair. "Oh. Okay."

"He said you and Mom weren't answering your phones."

Dad nods, but doesn't explain why that was. "I'll . . . I'll call him later. Make sure he has a ride. Did he tell you when?"

I shake my head, stand on my tiptoes and pull my makeup bag off the top shelf, not meeting my Dad's gaze. "No, he didn't."

Dad sighs. "I'll see you after school."

I nod, and Dad squeezes my arm once, before turning and hurrying down the stairs. I hear the door slam shut, and slide down against the bathroom wall, my hands shaking even more than his were. Pain sears in my abdomen, coming up from behind, the pain overwhelming. My eyes cloud with tears, but I swallow hard, tilt my head back. Breathe in deep. And then it's gone, and I'm still sitting there, a few minutes later, when someone knocks on the door. I stand up on shaky legs, hurry done the stairs, feeling like I'm Ariel in _The Little Mermaid_ when she first has legs—shaky, uncertain on my own two feet. I push a few stray curls, damp with sweat, back, and open the door. It's Seth, and his face falls when he sees me.

The hair falls in my face again, but my hands are shaking so much that I don't have the effort to even tuck them behind my ear. I swallow hard, again. "I know, I'm really sorry I'm not ready yet—I forgot to put on my alarm, and you can leave without me, I don't—"

Seth pulls me into his arms, cutting me off completely. "Hey," he says, into my hair. "Hey, hey. It's alright." He pulls back a little and puts his large hands on either side of my sweaty face. "Don't worry about it, okay? I'll wait." My eyes slip shut, but I nod.

"Thank you," I murmur, softly. Seth's hands fall from my face, but he sets a hand on my arm.

"Go get ready, okay? Leah made some banana pancakes for you—I left them in the car, but I'll go grab them, and I'll have them for you when you're done upstairs, okay?"

"Thank you," I say again, my dim day brightening up just a little at the thought of him, Seth, and his sister's amazing banana pancakes.

Seth just smiles his sad little smile, and nudges me in the direction of the stairs.

"I'll be fast," I tell him, setting an unsteady hand on the railing, and making my way upstairs, Seth's worried eyes on me the whole time.

***SETH*POV**

Stepping back outside, into the cold morning air, I feel any reasons I had not to tell her crumble—today, after she cuts it off with Ben, I'm telling her. No excuses.

After seeing how awful she looks this morning—even worse than yesterday, after the fainting incident—my heart is, truly, breaking. I need to be here for her, one hundred percent, and the only way I can be, is if she knows.

Taking the plastic-wrapped plate of banana pancakes from my car, I hear the sound of crumpling leaves and breaking branches. I spin around, but it's just Collin—in wolf form, he's smaller than I am, but not by much. His fur is a deep brown, almost black, like Quil, only speckled with lighter patches.

"Hey," I say. "You hear that?"

Collin whines, and gestures his muzzle in the direction of Elsie's house.

I run my fingers through my hair, frustrated. "I know, I know! I'm telling her. I am. Today." Collin nods his large, wolf head, and turns to go, but hesitates just as he's disappearing in the thick brush. "Yeah. I know. I'll tell Suze you love her when I see her in Calc, and that you'll be back by lunch, and that she better take good care of your balls while you're away, because you'll need them when you come back." He laughs then, a sound that's a cross between a cough and a bark. I mock salute him. "I'll see you later, Collin." Collin darts back into the thick trees on the side of Elsie's house, and I quickly walk back to Elsie's front door, which I left cracked open. I set the plate of pancakes on the kitchen counter, and grab the orange juice from the fridge, habitually glancing at the clock, not really caring—but still noting—that even if we left now, we'd be at least ten minutes late. First bell would just be ringing right now.

My phone buzzes in the front pocket of my jeans, and I pull it out. It's Suze, asking where I am. I slip it back into my pocket. I'll be there soon enough. Elsie comes down about ten minutes later, wearing jeans and a loose long sleeved shirt, with a sweater on top. She's winding a scarf around her neck, and she has a faded gray beanie in her other hand, the one that I remember her knitting in seventh grade, when she knit with Annie and her mom all the time. She's wearing makeup, but sparingly—I can still see the concealer she must have lathered on under her eyes to hide the dark circles, not completely blended in, and a little mascara. Even for her, that's not much—she either just isn't in the mood to care, or she was rushing.

She forces a small smile when she sees me, but I see how she seems more relaxed than she did twenty minutes before, and that in itself makes me feel better. She sits down across from me, and I slide the now-uncovered plate over, along with the glass of orange juice and a fork I grabbed while I was waiting. Now she smiles, and this time, it is a real one, albeit a small one.

***ELSIE*POV**

The day drags by painfully. My first period teacher didn't mention the fact that I came in thirty minutes late, but that's only because I finished our last project—charcoal drawings—a day early, so I would have nothing to do anyways. Ben and I have one class together, but it's English and we sit on completely other sides of the room, because of the seating chart—my last name is Reynolds, and his is Davis. But English is our last class before lunch, so when the bell rings, I make sure to take a while to get my stuff together. The zipper on my backpack gets caught, so I end up taking even longer. Ben stands by the door, jiggling his foot nervously, the change in his pocket clinking together.

He holds the door open for me when I'm finally ready, and I pull my beanie on over my head, my fingers shaking in the cold. I stuff them into the pockets of my sweater, but the cold has already seeped into my bones.

Ben stops walking suddenly, and turns on me. "I know what you're going to say," Ben starts. "I know it's over, Elsie. But I just need to know—is it because him?"

I want to say no, but I can't, because then I would be lying. "I'm really sorry, Ben."

He sighs, looks at me, but I can tell it's not really me he's seeing. "Well, at least I gave it a shot." He turns to go, but I grab his arm. He looks at me, over his shoulder, not turning completely.

"I really am sorry, Ben."

Ben nods, once—slow and cautious. "Me too." He slips out of my grip, takes his keys out of his pocket. "It had to happen sometime, didn't it?"

I don't have time to ask him what he means, because he's already walking away—away from our relationship, away from me. This is what I wanted, isn't it?

I sit down there, in front of a row of lockers, and pull my knees to my chest, forgetting about the chill in my bones, forgetting about everything—or, at least, trying to.

Seth finds me there; whether it's been ten minutes, or two, I don't know, but he doesn't make me move, or feed me some lies about how it was the right thing to do, or how everything is going to be okay, because we both know that's not true. He just sits down next to me, tucks me into his side, and holds my two freezing hands, chapped and red from the cold, in between his own; sitting there, with him, I think he gives me a little bit of warmth, giving strength to the small fire that, without him, would've died a long time ago.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later, in the locker room, Suze doesn't hound me; she doesn't ask me about Ben, or Seth, or about why I wasn't at lunch today. We get changed in silence, in our little corner of the room, surrounded by thirteen other girls screaming and laughing and chatting.

We're the first ones to be finished, but, when we walk out into the gym, Seth and Collin are already waiting, talking fast and anxiously, their tones hushed. The stop immediately when they see us, and Collin offers me a small smile, before taking Suze into his arms, and leading her to the benches in the back, where they seem to continue a similarly intense conversation. While I'm watching them, Seth lifts me into a hug, my feet leaving the ground. I can't help it; I'm grinning when he puts me back down.

"You make me feel like such a little kid," I tell him, shoving him with my shoulder. Right now, standing in front of him, the top of my head is level with his shoulders. "You're a giant. You know that, right?"

Seth just laughs; a loud and cheerful sound that warms me to my very core. "And you're a midget," he answers. "You know that, right?"

"No way," I scoff. "I'm five-two. Did you know that five-two is the average height of the average American woman?"

Seth smiles. "And since when are you average?" I shake my head at him, grinning, and then Coach calls us over, explaining the "proper" way to dribble. We spend the rest of class playing Knock Out, Seth, Collin, Suze, and I at one of the four baskets together. Seth gets me out every single time, but it's still the most fun I've had in weeks.

When we go to change out, Suze asks me about the hiking trip—it's next week, she tells me, on Saturday, and we're going to Beaver Creek at one; our club sponsor, Mr. Adams, is getting a bus, but we can just drive up in her dad's truck. I tell her that I'll think about it—I'll ask my parents, but Jack is coming in town, so I might not be able to go.

She seems fine with that, and doesn't press for more information—not about Jack, or anything. It strikes me that Seth might have told her to give me some space, after I told him that she and I were fighting. And, for some reason, instead of being angry, like I normally would be, I appreciate it—I need some space, some room to think.

Just as we're about to leave the room—we're the last ones, this time—Suze pulls me into a tight hug, and I realize . . . she's _taller _than me. Am I the only one who hasn't changed?

"I love you," she says, smiling a small, Suze-y smile. "No matter what. I'll call you later, okay?"

I give her a tight-lipped smile and nod. Just as she's turning to go, I say, "I did break up with him, Suze."

Suze nods, the small space between her eyebrows creasing. "I know."

And then she's gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After school's over, Seth drives us out towards the outskirts of La Push; the haphazardly located cliffs, jagged and marking our territory roughly. I don't question it, and do as he does—get out of the car. I walk over to him, looking out; the choppy, dark waves, crashing loudly below us, against the rocks.

But Seth is silent, and I love the feel of the briny, cold breeze on my face, sharp as it may be. I sit on the edge, throwing cautiousness to the very wind that violently caresses my chapped cheeks. My feet dangle over the side of the cliff, and I look down, at the rocks and the beach; at the tide, rising just below me. It's not subtle; I hear it as plainly as a feel the sea spray. Seth comes to sit next to me, takes my cold hands in his own, pulls me away from the ledge, for fear that I will fall.

I shiver at the warmth of his skin, the heat radiating from him. _Contact. _

"I need to talk to you, Elsie," he says, finally. His voice is quiet against the loud crash of the waves, but he talks normally, doesn't fight against the winds that carry his voice away.

I nod, but stand up. "In the car? It's cold," I say. Seth nods, too, and stands up; making his way back to the car, which he left on—inside, it's warm. I hold my reddened fingers against the vents; pull my hat down tighter around my ears.

"I don't know how . . ." Seth trails off, drums his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel. He turns to face me, his deep, dark eyes staring into mine. My phone vibrates in my pocket, more than once, so I know someone is calling me. Seth hears it, too. I don't take it out.

I smile half-heartedly. "_Breathe_, Seth."

He exhales heavily, and laughs nervously, tugging his fingers through his hair. "You know how, when we were little—eight or nine, maybe—you'd always come over to my house, and—and my dad would always tell those stories, about the tribe?"

I bite my lip, but nod. "I—well, yeah, sort of, Seth. But we were little kids . . . I don't really remember them that well." But I do. I remember all of them; I've turned them over and over in my head so many times . . . I heard the same stories from _my_ grandfather, when he was still alive.

Seth shoves his hands, his trembling fingers, into his pockets. "Do you . . . do you remember him telling us the one about the tribe being descended from . . ." He stops suddenly, the words caught in his chest. His shoulders shudder.

"Wolves?" I ask, eyebrows raised. "Yeah. My grandpa used to tell me that one all the time. It was his favorite."

Seth nods. "Yeah. That one. And then there were stories of the cold ones as old as the legends about the wolves, and some much more recent."

"Yeah, I remember those. And then your dad would always say that the wolves were still the brothers of the tribe today, and that the direct descendants of the wolves made that treaty with the cold ones, about staying off the tribe's land."

Seth takes a deep breath. "Do you remember what else he said about the wolves?"

My eyebrows crease. "How the direct descendants were, like, part wolf?" Seth nods. I give him a look. "I hate to break it to you, Seth, but I don't get where you're going with this."

Seth takes his hands out of his pockets, runs his fingers through his hair. "Oh, god. This is _hard. _Um." His eyes light up, then, and he looks up at me. "Do you remember how, after your family heard about Emily, you guys came over to my house?"

I thumb the woven bracelet on my wrist, the one that Emily made for me, when she was recovering. I've never taken it off. "Yeah, Seth. But I still don't understand—"

"—and we were talking to Leah, and she was saying how there was no _way _that it was a bear had attacked Em, that it must have been something else, because she overheard your dad and my dad talking?"

I look out the window, at the cliffside."Seth, I really don't get what you're trying to do here."

"Do you remember that?" he presses. I look at him, at his earnest expression and messy hair, at his wild eyes.

I sigh. "Yeah, Seth. I do remember that." I narrow my eyes at him. "What are you playing at?"

"Nothing, Elsie. I'm trying. I really am. I just . . ." He looks away. "What if I show you?" he asks, but he doesn't really seem to be talking to me. "No, that wouldn't . . . ah, god." He turns back to me. "If I told you something totally crazy, would you believe me?"

"I don't know, Seth," I say, exasperated. I glance at the clock. We've been out here for thirty minutes. "I guess it depends on what you told me."

Seth nods. "Okay. Okay. So what if I told you . . . what if I told you that all of the legends were true?"

I blink at him. "Then I'd say that you believe in your tribes legends, I guess. I mean, my grandpa seemed to believe them, and so did your dad, but . . ." I trail off.

Seth's eyes are bright now, with nervousness or excitement I don't know. "What if I told you . . . that werewolves existed?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you trying to be funny? Mess with my head?"

Seth's eyes widen. "No!" he exclaims. "No. What if I could show you? Then, would you believe me?"

"_Show _me?" I ask. "Seth, that's ridiculous. It would have to be pretty serious evidence for you to actually make me believe what you just said."

Seth nods, and his tan skin seems to be radiating. "I can do that. But you'll have to promise me."

I sigh again. "Promise you what?"

"Promise me that you won't run." His eyes are burning as he says this, and I get the feeling that I've fallen into an alternate universe filled with awful clichés and B-rated horror films.

"Fine. I promise you that I won't run."

Seth nods. "Okay." He swallows. "I can do this." He gets out of the car, and walks around to my side, opening my door for me, shielding me from the strong winds with his own body. "Come on," he says, taking my hand, and shutting the car door with his other. He leads me towards the thick trees surrounding the winding dirt road up here, where it's not as windy. He walks about ten or so feet in, where a sizeable rock lays, awkwardly half-covered by large, fallen branches. Seth swipes his arm across it, and says, not unkindly, "Sit." I do as he says, watching him warily.

"Seth . . ."

He's looking at me nervously, but takes a step away, then another, then another. "This is going to be really weird for you," he tells me, "and I'm sorry about that. But you _need _to know. I can't live another day—" He cuts off. "I just can't. Stay there, alright? No matter what happens, promise me you won't move off of that rock, okay?"

"Seth, what's—you're scaring me, Seth."

"I'm sorry about that, Els. I really am." He looks at me, eyes bright in anticipation. He takes a few steps father back, so now there's at least ten feet in between us. "Don't move. Please." And then he starts unzipping his jacket, pulls his sweatshirt over his head. He tosses them at me. "Hold those for me." And then he takes off his t-shirt, so now he's just standing there, in the freezing cold, in nothing but his jeans and Converse.

Before now, I'd been frozen with surprise, but now I'm more worried and confused than ever. "Seth, what are you doing? It's freezing, and you're—"

"Els, I know this is weird, but I need you to just stay there, okay?" He tosses me his t-shirt, and then takes off his shoes. "Don't be weirded out, but I need to take off my jeans, too. I'll leave on my boxers, I promise." I open my mouth to protest, but then the jeans are off, and he throws them to me, too.

"Okay. Now just sit there, alright? Don't move." He's trembling now, his whole body shaking, and my eyes are wide with fear.

"Seth, it's freezing outside! What the hell are you—?"

And then Seth is exploding in front of me, his boxers flying apart in tatters, and a huge, monstrous animal is standing in his place—it's probably as tall as I am, and it's on four legs. It's fur is a sandy brown, and at first I think that it's a bear—a huge, demon bear come to eat me. But then I think, _it doesn't look like a bear at all. It looks like . . . a wolf. _

And . . . _where the hell his Seth? _I pull my legs up onto the rock with me, tears clouding in my eyes. It occurs to me to scream, to go find Seth, but I'm frozen, staring. _Where is Seth? _

Then it strikes me. What did he say, just before, in the car?_ What if I told you . . . that werewolves existed_ . . . _What if I could show you? Then, would you believe me?_

"Oh my god," I whisper, hugging my legs to my chest. _Oh. My. God. _The wolf—Seth—moves forward, but I hold up a hand, a sob building in my chest. "Please . . . please, don't come closer. _Please_."

The wolf whimpers, but stops. I look at it—at _Seth_—and know that this is his evidence, this is his proof that werewolves—that all of the legends—exist.

"Oh my god," I say again. I look into his eyes—those same, deep brown eyes that I've loved for as long as I can remember, and I know for sure that this is him, this is my best friend, this is Seth. But then I realize something else. "You never told me," I accuse, my own eyes filling with tears. I stand up, and point at him. "You never told me!" I shout at him, angrily. "I can't believe you! I . . . I tell you _everything!_" I've always made fun of girls who do this, but I stomp my foot. "Oh my god. This is insane . . . this is _insane!_"

I glare at him, and he takes a step backwards, obviously understanding how hurt and furious I am. "Change back! Change back _now! _And take me home!" With that, I walk out from the cover of the trees, and run back into the car, where I sit, sobbing, _furious_, until he comes after me, shirtless and wearing jeans, everything else in his arms. I can see his worry for me written across his face as clear as his worry for me has always been, and he runs—faster than I've ever seen anyone run—to the car, climbing in.

He doesn't say anything, just looks over at me, and I see the tears in his own eyes, see the tracks on his cheeks. He puts the car in drive, and, slowly, makes his way past the cliffs, turns around, and drives me home.

I don't say anything, just get out of the car, slam the door shut behind me, and run for the front door. But apparently luck is not on my side today, because Seth comes after me. "Please, Elsie," he murmurs, earnestly. "Please don't do this to me. We need to talk about—"

"No," I say. "No, we don't. Not now we don't. I . . . I can't believe you, Seth." I stand there, looking at him, for one more weighted moment, before asking him what I've been wondering the whole drive home. "How long?" I ask him.

"How long what?" he whispers, looking at me desperately, with those sad, sad eyes.

"How long have you . . . have you been like this?"

He looks away. "Since . . . since my dad died."

"Three years, Seth? _Three years?_" And then it hits me. "Are . . . are _all _of them—?"

Seth bites his lip. He nods.

"And Suze?" I ask. "Does she know, too?"

Seth sighs. "Suze knows."

I shake my head, the betraying stinging, and turn to go inside. My hand is on the doorknob when Seth grabs my wrist.

"Please, Elsie. Please don't leave it like this. I—I can't stand it."

I yank my hand from his grip. "You—"

The door bangs open behind me, and there stands my brother, Jack, looking furious. "How dare you touch her!" he shouts, his voice almost a growl. "Get inside, Elsie," he orders.

I stare at him, mouth open. "You can't—"

"_Get inside._"

I get inside, behind him, and Jack grabs Seth's arm, dragging him across the lawn, to where his car is parked. Jack is yelling at Seth, but not loud enough for me to hear. It's not long before Seth is getting in his car, and Jack is walking back towards the house.

"Did he hurt you?" he asks me, voice no longer harsh.

"What just—"

"Did he hurt you?" Jack repeats, and I shake my head. Jack exhales heavily, and moves to pull me into a hug. I take a step back.

"Don't even think about it! What gives you the _right _to even come _near _me?" I ask him, not looking for an answer.

"What the hell, Elsie? I'm your brother!"

"Yeah, not much of a fucking brother, Jack! When do you ever call? When do you ask me how I am, or how I'm doing? All you ever cared about is _Annie! _And now that she's gone, you don't give a _damn _about me!"

"Don't talk about Annie like that! You know that's not true!"

"Is that what you think, Jack? Because I certainly don't!"

"Hey!" my dad shouts, coming into the room. "What the hell is going on in here?"

I scowl at them, both of them. "Nothing, Dad. I was just about to leave."

"Leave?" he asks, looking between Jack and I. "Where, exactly, are you going?"

But I'm already going, walking around Jack and throwing open the front door. It's drizzling now, but I couldn't care less. I walk around the side of the house, grab my old, faded bike from the shed, and jump on, without the slightest clue of where I'm going.

* * *

**I know. It was EPIC, right? Now, review. Or else. Okay, so there isn't really an "or else", but its kind of depressing to write a story you feel like nobody is reading! :( Oh, and my summary is awful, so, if you do comment (which you should) and are feeling like a really nice person, it would be awesome if you could write a one or two sentenced summary for this story! Thanks, guys! **

**love, leah**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own Twilight, nor am I Stephanie Meyer. However, I do own my plotline, Elsie, and my other original characters. Enjoy!_**

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE**

***ELSIE*POV**

It doesn't take very much time for me to realize that I don't really have many places to go. After all, almost everyone I consider a friend is, according to Seth, either a werewolf, a friend of a werewolf, a sibling of a werewolf, or a girlfriend of a werewolf. This leaves me with virtually nobody.

And then I can't help but wonder—what if I did go talk to Emily or Leah? After all, I wouldn't have to hide anything, talking to either of them.

It takes a few minutes of aimless bike riding in the rain, but, pretty soon, I've made up my mind—I'm going to the Clearwater's to talk to Leah, even if I have to see Seth to do it.

I know the way to Seth's pretty well; I'd walked there too many times to count, when we were in middle and elementary school. It's pouring now, and my clothes are completely soaked. I pedal as fast as I can, going through puddles, around fallen branches, and back two roads. I stop in front of Seth's familiar house, two stories but small, more comfortable and homey than my house has ever felt. And this makes guilt tear at my insides because, really, what have I ever given Seth? Because whatever it is, it certainly isn't anywhere near as amazing as what he's given me: a place that I always feel welcome, a place that I can always, if need be, call home.

My tears are mingling with the rain, dripping from my chin and soaking into my already-drenched sweatshirt, but I can't find the energy to actually go inside, to intrude in their family, in something I have always taken for granted, but, right now, need more than ever.

I don't know how long I've been standing out in the rain before it begins to sleet, and I have to shield my face from the sharp beads of water.

The front door of the Clearwater's bursts open and I see that it's Leah. "Elsie, is that you? What are you doing out here?" she's shouting through the rain and wind and thunder, but I barely catch her words. She disappears back into the house, and returns with an umbrella, walking out to me and grabbing the handlebars of my bike with one hand, while putting her other arm around me, and leading both me and my bike under the cover of the porch.

Leah looks down at me—she is, of course, much taller than I am—like she's searching for something. She sighs when she finds it—whatever _it_ is—and says, bluntly, "He told you." It isn't a question, and I think that maybe he told her beforehand; called her, maybe, or told her this morning.

I shoot her a look, not feeling her statement needs a response from me. Leah leans my bike against a chair on the porch, and takes my arm, pulling me into the house, shutting the door tight behind her. It's dark inside, and there are candles set around. "Is the power out?" I ask, quietly.

Leah nods. "Ma!" She shouts. "Could you bring down some towels? Elsie's here, and she's soaked!"

Sue Clearwater, Leah and Seth's mother, appears from behind the stairs, carrying at least four or five towels in her arms.

"Oh, dear." Sue clucks her tongue, and throws a towel around my shoulders. "He told you, didn't he?"

I groan, and slump against the door. "Does _everyone _know?" I mutter, not happily.

"Well," Leah says. "Kind of. Yeah. It was sort of a . . . pack decision."

My eyebrows furrow. "A pack—" I cut off. "He was _forced _to tell me?"

Sue and Leah share a look. "Um," Leah starts, for once at a loss for words. "Well. Why don't I take you up to my room so you can change, and then we'll talk? Okay?"

I want to argue, but I'm freezing in my wet clothes, and I would rather not ruin their wood floors. Leah leads me upstairs and into her room, where I lean against her door, huddling deeper into the now-wet towel. Leah rummages through her drawers, and comes up with a pair of sweatpants, which she holds up against me.

"Wow," she says. "You're _tiny._" She grins at me, and tosses the pants onto her unmade bed. "We can go look through Seth's old stuff, from before he . . . you know . . . changed."

I look at her. "Is _that _why he's so huge?"

Leah snorts. "It's why all of us are giants." I notice the way she says '_us_', and not '_them_'. I raise an eyebrow at her, standing upright now.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a wolf, too. Don't freak out on me. I'm not going to go all rabid-animal on you, alright?"

I exhale heavily through my nose, and pull my wet hat off my head. "Trust me. I've done enough freaking out on people today. And not just on your brother."

She gives me a funny look, and leads me down the hall to Seth's room, where she pulls open one of his drawers, and starts digging through. "Who else, then?"

"Jack came home today," I tell her, wrinkling my nose.

Leah freezes. "Jack came home?"

"Yeah. We had this big blow out after Seth took me home. He sort of—you know, came onto Seth. I think he heard us fighting." I swallow hard. "I shouldn't have yelled at him."

Leah waves that off. "What did he say to Seth?"

"Oh, well, I don't know. I couldn't hear them. He got Seth to leave, though." Leah looks worried about something. I play with my hat, pulling at a few stitches in the old knitting. "I mean, he's not—he's not a . . ." I trail off.

Leah looks surprised. "Oh, no. He's not a wolf, if that's what you're asking. He does know about us, though."

"Do you think he—do you think he would've threatened Seth?" The thought makes my heart ache. As mad as I am at Seth, it doesn't change the fact that I am deeply and irrevocably in love with him . . . or the fact that he's my best friend.

"Yes," a voice comes, from the doorway. "He did."

Leah and I turn, surprised. Seth is standing in the hallway, just outside of Leah's room, looking just as awful—if not worse—than I know that I do. He's barefoot, shirtless, and dripping with water. He looks sick to his stomach, his eyes bloodshot and his shoulders shaking. Facing away from me, he rubs his hands over his face.

I look down, knowing that this—his misery—is all on me. And as much as I want to run up and throw my arms around him, I can't.

Leah clears her throat, and stands up. "Do you know where all of your old stuff is? Elsie needs something dry to change into."

Seth sighs, rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "Yeah, I have a box in the closet. Just—just hold on a second." He turns to me, eyes sadder and deeper than ever. "Look, Els. I know shouldn't have sprung it on you like that. It's just . . . I've wanted to tell you for so long, and, truth is, there are no great ways to break something like this to someone you—someone you care about. I've been so worried, for _so long, _that, if I told you, you'd never want to see me again. That you'd be so freaked out that everything that we have—everything that's _us_—would be ruined. And let's face it; I was _scared. _I was so scared that I'd mess up, and I just . . . I'm really sorry, Elsie. Okay? I'm so sorry. I just—" He breaks off, swipes his hands under his eyes, catching his tears before they can fall.

Seth turns, and slowly walks to the closet, pulling out a cardboard box. He grabs a pair of faded sweatpants—even more faded than mine—a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. He hands them to me, not meeting my eyes, and turns to leave. I grab his wrist before he can, though, and he looks at me.

"I'm angry, Seth. Don't get me wrong. I'm pissed. But I'm not going to go anywhere, okay?" Seth looks surprised. I turn his hand over, and lace my fingers through his. He stares at our hands, porcelain and brick. "You matter too much," I add, softly, my voice shaking—but he hears me. His breath catches, and his eyes meet mine. My eyes fill with tears, and I throw my arms around his neck, my feet lifting off of the floor. The towel slips, and I hear it fall to the ground. He holds me tight, and I bury my nose in the crook of his shoulder, relishing in his warmth, his achingly familiar smell.

I sigh in my exhaustion, the whole day crashing down on me, the worry and stress feeling more solid than ever, thick enough for me to sink into. I pull away after a moment, but Seth grabs my hand. I sniffle. "I should probably head home soon," I say, the thought of it filling me with dread.

Seth looks into my eyes, weighs our options.

Leah stands up, her knees popping. "Why?" she says. "It's a Friday, isn't it? Call them up, and say you're here and probably will be for a while. They'll get over it."

I shake my head, rub my forehead. "I can't. Jack's home, and I'm _always _on lockdown when Jack's home."

Leah clenches her teeth and rolls her eyes, trying to soften the anger that's obvious in the set of her mouth. "Why are your parents so—"

"Just try, El," Seth cuts in, shooting his sister a restraining look.

I rub my forehead, push wet strands of hair out of my eyes. I sigh. "Yeah. I'll try." I look down at my wet clothes, the puddle forming at my feet. "I should probably change first, though," I say.

Seth nods, but pulls me into his arms once more, holding me as tight as he can without crushing me. "I really am sorry, El."

I give him a small smile. "Seth," I say, nudging him out the door of his own bedroom. "We can talk after."

He grins at me, and I laugh a little, closing the door in his face. "Wait!" he exclaims, and I open the door again. "Can I grab some clothes?" He gestures at his shirtless self, and my cheeks flush. I nod. He steps into the room, faster than you could imagine, and snatches whatever sits on the top of his bottom drawer. He flashes me a small, heart-breaking smile, and disappears down the hall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ten minutes later, Seth and I are sitting on the couch downstairs, burrowed under thick blankets—well, at least in my case. My parents are letting me stay the night, sort of. It was mostly a one-sided conversation. Leah had left for Embry's house—Embry is one of the other wolves—a few seconds ago, despite Sue's protests about the heavy rain.

"El?" Seth starts, hesitantly. I turn my head towards him, still listening to the loud, furious rain pounding on the roof. "What do you want to know? About, well, the wolves?"

I bite my lip, focusing on him completely. "Can we start out with the basics? Like . . . how does the whole thing work?"

Seth smiles easily at this question, seeming relieved. "That's an easy one. You saw before, when I showed—"

I raise my eyebrows. "Like I had any say in the matter."

"Right," he says, looking guilty again. "Well, it's mostly just—for me at least—I think about it, and it happens. It's nothing super complicated, and it doesn't hurt, for the most part. The first few times were painful. A big thing that triggers it is anger—I'll change without thinking about it, if I'm pissed off or upset."

I drag my eyes away from his, and look at his hands. "Is that why your hands shake a lot?"

Seth sighs. "Yeah. That's me trying to hold back. It's never actually happened before—I've never let emotion make me change. Paul, he can't control it; once he's pissed, there's no stopping him. Jake is the best out of all of us; he's barely ever tempted by it. Same with Sam."

"Why only you? Why not the entire tribe?" I finally ask.

Seth gives me a serious look. "Only direct descendants of the original tribal leaders change. Leah says you thought Jack was one of us? It wouldn't happen; it's not possible. Same with you. It could never happen. So don't stress about it."

I rub my eyes. "How does Jack know?" I force myself to ask.

Seth's expression hardens. "He used to be friends with Sam, when they were in school together here, and before then even, when he was a little kid, before you and I were born. They were best friends, I guess. But when Sam changed—and he was the first, in the whole pack—he couldn't stay friends with your brother. It wouldn't have worked, and the elders wouldn't have it. But Jack, being Jack, didn't like being ditched. He picked a fight with Sam. But Sam was still so unstable—he was, really, a baby, in technical terms. He couldn't control himself at all. This was over the summer, so Sam stayed outside most of the time; he slept on the back porch of my house a lot, according to Leah."

"So . . . what happened?"

"You know what happened. Sam changed, and your brother is one of the most closed-minded people I've ever met."

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I look away. "I hate him, you know."

"El? Hey, El, look at me." Seth grabs my chin, forces me to look him in the eyes. "Things will get better at home. I promise." He smiles sadly at me. "And, worst comes to worst, you can sleep on my back porch."

I smile through my tears at his pathetic attempt at being funny, and Seth pulls me against him, tucks my head under his chin. "I might hold you up to that," I murmur.

We're both quiet for a moment, and then another question occurs to me. "Is Leah the only girl wolf?" I ask him. Seth nods, studying my expression.

"Why?" he asks, after a few seconds.

"I was just trying to imagine what it must be like, for her." I swallow hard, and pull back from Seth a bit. "Lonely, don't you think?"

Seth nods again. "There's this, um, thing."

My eyebrows furrow. "What thing?"

"A wolf thing. Everyone in your pack can read your thoughts, when you're in wolf form. It sucks. But it also helps me understand Leah, and, well, you know, everyone else. It makes us closer, in a way. You get a better sense of each other."

I wrinkle my nose. "Doesn't that make you feel like you don't have any privacy, though? I would I hate that."

Seth is quiet, thoughtful. "Well, yes. And there are definitely times when I want nothing but everyone else to be out of my head. But we're fair about it—we don't go looking into each other's minds unnecessarily. Nobody wants _everything _to be out there."

I can't imagine what that must be like, to have everything out there, in the open, for everyone to see. Is nothing private, ever? I turn to Seth. "Are there _any _perks?" I ask him, only half kidding.

"Isn't turning into a giant dog perk enough?" he teases. He smiles a little bit, the corners of his lips upturned. "No, um, it's actually really cool, believe it or not. We're very fast, even in human form—a lot faster than you'd think. We heal at _least _three times as fast as a normal person, and, yeah, I get to turn into a giant dog."

I smile at him. "The warmth—is that a wolf thing, too? I've noticed that. All of you; Jake, Sam, Embry. You're all very warm."

Seth slowly laces his fingers with mine, before grinning even wider at me. "_Perks,_" he murmurs. I lean into him, and we both fall silent, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere that I've only achieved with him. The rain is even louder than it was before, and thunder sounds every few minutes. The power is still out.

"Thank you," Seth says to me a few minutes later, breaking the silence.

I turn to face him. "What for?"

He meets my gaze, serious. "Not running."

I sigh happily, and wink. "Don't mention it."

He chuckles softly, his chest vibrating under my chin. "I mean it, Els. It's going to be so much easier now that you know."

I hesitate, but then I say, "Why didn't you tell me, Seth?"

Seth lets out a breath through his nose. "I was so scared, Elsie. That you would, I don't know, look at me differently? That you wouldn't see me as a person, as your best friend, anymore. What we have—you and me—is so important to me, and I was so scared that telling you would ruin it, or change it, or make things different."

I nod. "I'm still angry," I tell him. "But I do understand."

He smiles. "Thank God for that."

A few hours later, after everyone's gone to sleep, I quietly get up out of Seth's bed (he insisted) and make my way across the hall, down the stairs, and into the living room. Seth is sleeping on the couch, but this is the only way to get to the kitchen. I tip-toe past him, holding my breath. It seems like an eternity, but when I finally get into the kitchen, I switch on the light as low as it goes, and let out my breath as softly as I can.

I grab a tub of Double-Dark Chocolate ice cream from the freezer, and a plastic spoon from the cupboard. The clock on the microwave tells me that it's a little past two in the morning, and I grimace. The negative to not being at home: I don't have my pills.

After a long, silent moment, I head for the door to the back porch. The Clearwater's don't have an alarm system, so I just unlock it and slip outside. It's cold, and the smell of rain lingers in the air, but the night is quiet, and the sky is clear. I settle into one of the chairs, and pop open the lid of the ice cream.

I'd only been sitting there for a few minutes when the back door slips open, and Seth is standing next to my chair. "Crap," I say. "Did I wake you up?"

"You can't sleep," he says, not answering. I nod. "Alright. I guess we're camping out on the back porch." He settles into the chair next to me (it's more of a porch _couch_) and wraps his arm around my waist. His eyes are rimmed red with exhaustion, and ringed with dark sleep circles.

"You need to sleep, Seth," I say. "You look exhausted."

"And you don't?" he counters. I sigh, and hand him the spoon. He smiles sleepily, and takes a bite. "What's going on, Elsie?" he asks, after a moment.

I shake my head and shrug. "Honestly? I don't know. I just _can't _sleep. It's weird. It used to be—in the beginning—dreams." Seth nods, taking another spoonful of the ice cream. "But those stopped a while ago. I think that maybe, subconsciously, I'm afraid of dreaming, of having nightmares, so I just . . . can't sleep." I tuck my head into Seth's shoulder.

He takes a deep breath. "Do you need your pills? I'll take you home, if you need them."

"No, no. I'm fine. Really. It's been so long. I'm so used to it at this point that it doesn't even matter."

Seth is quiet a minute. "It does, though," he says finally. "It does matter, Elsie."

"What?"

"When you passed out at Sam's yesterday, I called a friend over—you know, Dr. Cullen—to have him check on you. You were completely out. I was _freaking. _He said that lack of sleep might have caused it. That's not okay, Elsie, and it _does _matter. At least to me, it does."

I swallow hard, feeling touched and emotional and exhausted and not knowing how to respond. I sit up, so I can see Seth's face. "You know what I used to do?" I say. "Whenever I couldn't sleep, before I got the pills, I'd just leave the house. I'd grab my bike, and I'd ride into town—no matter what time it was. I'd go to that one diner—you know, the only 24-hour one—in my pajamas, even, and I'd just get a coffee. I'd sit there, in my pajamas, drinking coffee, at two o'clock, three o'clock, four in the morning. I would come back in time to shower and change for school, and if it was the weekend I wouldn't come back for hours, and then I'd just crash and sleep all morning. And you know what? I don't think they ever even noticed I was gone."

Seth is watching me, quietly, seriously. "I would come down your street on my way there," I continue. I smile ruefully. "I don't know why, but I did. When it first started, you weren't talking to me, so maybe that's why. I think I was hoping—I don't know." I shake my head, and look away. "I didn't stop when we started talking again, either. My parents _still _didn't know. They didn't even know that I wasn't sleeping. And I _always _came this way, even though town is in the opposite direction." I look back at Seth. He's watching me still, eyes dark and sad. "Well. I don't do it anymore, anyways. They know, so I'm sure they'd notice." This is a lie. "And I have the pills, so it . . . it was stupid, anyways." I bite my lip, and stand up. "I'm going to try to go back to sleep. I'll see you in the—well, I'll see you later today, I guess."

He's still watching me. "Hey, Els?" he says, finally. "Will you do me a favor?"

I nod. "Yeah. Sure. What is it?"

"Be careful, alright? No sneaking out, okay? I don't want you getting hurt."

I nod again, confused. "Okay, yeah. I won't."

Seth purses his lips and nods. "Goodnight, Elsie."

* * *

**Okay. So, I'm not super crazy about this chapter, but I'm thinking its better than nothing, especially since I haven't updated in FOREVER. I know, I know. I'm really, really sorry! I'm planning on posting a lot more often now that I'm on summer break! **

**As a side note, I think I'll try and actually really get on editing/revising Leap of Fate, because I've been sort of slacking on that one (as well as all of my other stories . . .). They all sort of need a little TLC. **

**Also, I just re-read twiXlite's amazing "Saving Edward" and "Alive Again", and I'm thinking that I'll do a spinoff of that series, giving twiXlite full credit for ideas and characters and such. If you've read the story, you know how it ends-very sad, but I agree 100% with the authors decision to end it that way. And while I do definitely agree with her decision, I've been thinking . . . what if Edward survived the heart attack? I know that twiXlite felt that her story-her baby-would not sit right with a HEA (happily ever after), and I definitely liked the actual ending a lot (never cried so much in a fanfic), but I think that I'm going to give it a shot. It's definitely my favorite two-part fanfiction, by any standards, and I absolutely love the plotline. But I'm thinking I'd really like to give poor Bella and Edward a shot at having their kids and-even if it's not a HEA-a somewhat happier ending. **

**If you've never read "Saving Edward" and "Alive Again", I'd definitely head on over to twiXlite's profile and get started! I'll let you know if i do end up doing a spinoff/continuation, and hopefully I can put together something that is even somewhat as good as twiXlite's stories. **

**PS: Thanks for sticking with me, even though I never update! Review, review, review! :)**

**PPS: The first story (aside from this one) that I'll definitely be updating will for sure be "In Time of Daffodils", so please go to my profile, click on it, and read the chapter that's up! It's my current baby (aside from "Remembrance"), and if you liked "Saving Edward" you'll definitely love it. THANK YOU!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I suck for not updating, but life is crazy. Studying abroad in Italy in January for 6 months! **

******DISCLAIMER: _I do not own Twilight, nor am I Stephanie Meyer. However, I do own my plotline, Elsie, and my other original characters. Hope you like it. _**

* * *

"And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace; when you love someone, but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?"

"Fix You" by Coldplay

**Chapter Six**

***ELSIE*POV**

When I wake up the next morning, I hear the unmistakable sound of Leah and Seth arguing downstairs. I can't tell what they're saying; just that they're saying something, and they're not happy about it.

I tiptoe out into the hall, listening hard. Right when I get to the top of the staircase, though, they quiet down. I hold my breath, wondering what happened, if they heard me. Moments later, the doorbell rings. It's an abrasive sound in the silent house, rushed and unhappy.

"Seth?" the voice comes. Serious. I immediately identify it as Sam. He pounds on the door when they don't answer. "Let me in. I know you're here."

I hear sighs downstairs, and then the sound of the door opening. "Leah," Sam says, curtly. And then, "I'm fine with you ditching patrol with valid reason, but I say that with the idea that I can expect you to be on your phone in mind."

Seth sighs heavily. "I'm sorry, Sam." He sounds like a child being reprimanded by a parent. Guilty and upset, but withdrawn. "It won't happen again."

Sam takes a while to respond, and the silence is weighted. "I know it won't," he says. "And it wouldn't be as big of a deal if there wasn't a reason we needed to reach you. We caught a scent again, but it keeps on cutting off. The leech runs off into the water, and the trail ends. It's getting to be as bad as when the red-haired leech was here. _We just can't catch it. _The Cullens have offered to help, and hopefully they can catch this one. I expect to see you patrolling today. Jake and Quil are on, so it shouldn't be a problem, I assume? Jake won't be as easy on you as I am—"

Leah clears her throat loudly, effectively cutting off Sam. She shushes him when he tries to speak again. "Elsie," she calls. "Come down here. I know you're listening."

I feel my cheeks color. I exclaim, guiltily, "I'm sorry!" on my way down the stairs.

When I come into the living room, Sam smiles at me, not angry at all. "Hey, honey. How are we holding up?" Sam's entire face lights up when he smiles, and my heart warms at his fatherly tone. All of a sudden, I'm overwhelmingly grateful to this man I barely know, and how kind he and his wife have been to me. I'm envious of his daughter. I wish my parents were like them; I see Sam and Emily in the future, with more kids, happy with themselves and their lives.

My chest tightens and my breath catches in my throat. I swallow hard. "Fine," I say quietly. "The concept is very . . . strange."

Seth lets out a low laugh. "Yeah, it is." He turns his gaze to Seth. "Congratulations, buddy. We only threatened you for years."

Seth's ears turn pink, and my cheeks get even redder. "Thanks, Sam," Seth says.

Sam nods thoughtfully and rubs his hands on his thighs. Well, I think that's all. 12 o'clock, Seth. Alright? Bring Elsie over to my place—" He looks over at me and adds, "if you're up for it, honey. All of the girls will be there; it's probably the safest place for anyone right now." I smile a little, but I don't tell him what I'm thinking: I don't feel like I belong with all of these people who seem to know more about everything than I do, who know more about my best friend and the boy I love, who probably were involved in forcing Seth to finally tell me.

Seth nods tiredly. "Thanks, Sam."

Sam sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah, huh. See you later, all three of you." He claps Seth on the shoulder, and meets his gaze for longer than he needs to. "None of us are sleeping," he murmurs. "You're not alone, Seth." They stare at each other, some understanding neither Leah nor me seem to catch passing between them. And then they're both moving: Sam, to leave, and Seth, to open the door.

"Bye, Sam," Seth says, to his retreating figure.

"Hang in there," Sam says over his shoulder, waving with his back to us.

The house falls quiet after Sam's car pulls away. There's a steady drip outside; the rain from yesterday tumbles from the roof, coming down around the porch. Otherwise, it's sunny and quiet.

Seth and I make eye contact, and he gently pulls me into his side. I yawn against his shoulder. We watch a Leah climbs the stairs angrily, grumbling to herself.

Seth lets out a heavy breath; it's somehow more tired than a sigh. I don't think I've ever heard a sound as exhausted in my life. He meets my gaze again and says, "Why don't we spend the rest of the morning outside, in the sun?"

I smile at him. "At the beach?" I add.

He nods, pressing his forehead to my temple. "Of course." His breath is cool on my face, his skin warm. "We'll drive by your house and grab a suit for you, okay?"

I chew the inside of my cheek anxiously. "Can you go in? Ask for me? If I go into that house, they will never let me come out, Seth. Jack will lock me up."

Seth's finger curl around my hip, his grip tightening around my waist. "Hopefully Jack doesn't kill me."

"Jack is the world's biggest jack_ass_," I say in response to that, and the subject is closed.

"I'd like to argue with that," Seth begins, "but I can't."

"Understandable," I tell him. "Most people can't."

Seth shakes his head and laughs. He takes a step back, placing his huge hand on the top of my head, where I feel swallowed. "I'll go grab my trunks," he says. "Go out and wait with the car." He smiles at me and watches as I stuff my feet in the boots at the door and step outside. I shut the door behind me and collapse onto the porch swing; it's beautiful out. No clouds, just clear, blue skies. I lean my chin on my knees, letting my mind go blank. There's too many things going through my head, and it sucks. Most things suck right now—aside from Seth. I finally feel like everything is falling into place with us. I feel like he wouldn't have told me everything if he didn't care about me. What if Suze was right? What if he really does like me the way I like him?

So much for letting my mind go blank.

Seth comes out a moment later, wearing his trunks and a t-shirt. "Ready?" he asks me.

"Yep." I stand up and smile, starting to walk down the porch steps with him. We hop in the car, and by the time we pull up in front of my house a few moments later, dread has already pooled in the pit of my stomach. My head pounds.

"It's fine," Seth says, seeing my expression. "I'll just knock on the door, go inside, and grab your suit. Top left drawer, right?"

I nod stiffly, chewing on my lip. "Don't let anything Jack says get to you," I say. "Don't even listen to him." Seth squeezes my knee and smiles tightly, then jumps out of the car and walks confidently to the front door He knocks, and the door opens immediately. It's Jack. I roll down the car window slowly, hoping I can hear what they're saying.

"Stray dogs usually don't come up to the front door," Jack sneers, just loud enough for me to hear. "Or have you not figured out that there's a certain place in life for _things _like you?"

My anger stews inside me, nasty things I wish I had the guts to say bubbling to the surface.

Seth's hands shake at his sides. "You really don't want to mess with me, Jack." They're the same height, similar build, but I know that if Seth came onto Jack, there would be no chance for my brother.

"You really don't want to mess with my sister, mutt," Jack counters.

And with that, I fly out of the car, furious.

"You're really an ass, Jack," I spit at him, heard pounding. I put a hand on Seth's arm as soon as I reach them, and the shaking subsides almost instantly.

"It's okay, Elsie. Get back in the car," Seth urges, his eyes burning with pent up energy and anger.

"No," I say. "I can handle this.'

Seth nods, not arguing, and takes a step back from us, hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. "Can't even control yourself around her, can you?" Jack says. "What a monster." Jack looks to me and points at Seth. "He's a monster, Elsie! Can't you see that? They're all monsters!"

I shake my head, my eyes clouding with tears. "You're not seeing the big picture, Jack. Not at all."

"He isn't _human_," Jack presses. "None of them are! You've seen what Sam did to Emily. What he could have done to Leah. They repulse me. They're unnatural!"

"So leave, Jack!" I shout. "I don't know why you ever bother to come back! You don't seem to like being here, and you don't seem to like anyone who _is_ here. I don't _want _you here! Mom and Dad wouldn't even notice if neither of us ever came home. They wouldn't even care. They stopped caring when Annie died." My tears spill over, falling down my cheeks in torrents. "You stopped caring when she died, too. Everyone did. And I get that. We all had the right to, for a while. But that's no excuse to—"

"_This has nothing to do with Annie!_" Jack bellows. "This has nothing to do with Mom or Dad!"

I sigh, resigned. My shoulders sag. "Then what is it about, Jack? Please explain this to me, because I'm really not getting it."

"It's _them_!" he exclaims, pointing at Seth. "The shapeshifters!"

"I don't understand, Jack. What do they have to do with anything?"

Jack laughs, and it's an awful sound. My heart aches at the realization that this is what my brother has become, this is what the loss of Annie did to him. But then I think—what if this change happened way before all of that? Before Annie, before college, even more me? What if something happened before I was even alive?

"All they do is ruin things," he hisses, leaning down to level his face with mine. I smell alcohol on his breath—beer, definitely. "That's all they ever do, Elsie. You'll see it soon. He'll ruin you, and it won't be my fault. And when they're finally ruined themselves, I'll be there to take the credit."

Sobs are ripping through my chest now, barely contained. "I don't _understand_, Jack. _I don't understand_. What _happened _to you, Jack? What did I do wrong?"I force myself to calm my breathing, and I take a few steps away from my brother, turning to look at Seth. "Please go up and get it for me," I whisper, my voice broken. "Please."

Seth's face crumples as he meets my eyes. He leans down and presses his lips to my forehead before pushing Jack out of the way and jogging down the hall do the staircase.

"I just came to get something," I say quietly to Jack, watching the grass. I swipe my fingers under my eyes. "I won't be back later. Don't call me." I turn quickly and head for the car, my stomach twisting and twisting until I'm sure it's been wound so tightly that it will never come undone.

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**Sorry it's so short! Just wanted to update. Next one should be up soon; I've been handwriting, and I haven't had the chance to type everything up.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is dedicated the oh-so-persistant anonymous reviewer who will not stop reviewing until I update. (: You should make an account so I can respond to you. I love you! Favorite reviewer of the year, and it's only January 7th. **

**Updates may become even more sparse for the next month or so, for which I apologize in advance. I leave in two weeks for Italy, and it'll be a strange adjustment for the first few weeks I'm there. I won't have much chance to write. Check out my story "Child in Red" if you get the chance; I have most of that one already written so I'll be able to just put chapters up.**

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_"Maybe I love you, maybe I do . . . I knew I liked you, I knew I cared. And I knew that something was brewing in the air, but I don't fall easily; too many betrayed me. I wasn't feeling quite like myself . . . But then you swam into my heart, and now the good step starts."_

_~ "_Maybe I Love You," by Lenka

**Chapter Seven**

Sitting in the car, I take deep, slow breaths. Seth is there moments later, eyes tight and eyebrows drawn close together. He pulls me against him, so closely that I'm almost in his lap. I bury my face into his shoulder, inhaling his smell and relishing in his warmth.

Seth rubs slow circles into my back and I let my eyes drift shut. "I'm sorry," he says softly. "That wasn't fair. He had no right."

I take a deep breath. "I just . . . I don't understand what happened to him. Whoever that was, he isn't my brother." I squeeze my eyes shut tight. "And nothing he said makes any sense! Why does he hate the pack so much? And he sounded like he was . . . threatening. What is he going to do?"

Seth sighs. I move back into my seat and he starts the car. "I don't know, Elsie. I'm going to have to talk to Jake or Sam about this, though. Everyone needs to be careful." We pull away and start down the street toward the beach. "The one thing I _do_ know is that you're not going back to that house until he leaves." And with that, he hands me a bikini; it's a new one, pink with black flowers. I climb over the center console and into the back.

"No peaking!" I shout.

Seth doesn't even dignify that with a response; as much of a teenage boy he is, there's no way he would. The rest of the drive is short, one I've committed to my memory since I was seven years old. My fight with Jack—clearly—still fresh in my mind, I'm not exactly in the greatest mood.

Seth grabs the "in case of emergency" beach towels from his trunk, and I leave everything on my seat. The wind is stronger here, the sun brighter. I start walking towards the sand, the warmth of the pavement making my toes crave it. Seth catches up with me just as I reach the beach, also barefoot. Rocks line the edge of the beach—good ones for climbing—and make their way into the water about a mile down the way.

As usual, we drop the towels on a big, flat rock halfway down the beach, and lay directly on the sand. Annie and I would do this all the time. "Let's go make some sand angels," she'd say, and we'd ride our bikes to the beach. The water's always freezing, always a crisp blue. Fallen trees make perfect benches, scattered here and there. The cliffs loom over us, staring me down. The beach is completely empty, quiet. Just me and Seth. Which is usually exactly what I want—if only he couldn't tell when I was upset.

"What's going on, El?" he asks me after a few silent moments. He rolls onto his side to face me. "What's going through that head of yours?" He taps my temple. "Huh?"

I bite my lip, and rest my head on my hand. "I don't know," I say, honestly. "Annie. My parents. Jack. You." We're both quiet for a moment, looking out into the ocean. I decide to bring up another question I'd had about the wolves, drawing the attention away from me and my problems. "I was thinking about the legend that your dad used to tell us, and my grandpa about wolves, and I was wondering—" I take a deep breath. "The cold ones? The vampires? Are they . . .?"

Seth nods, almost imperceptibly, and says, "Yes. They're true." I inhale sharply.

"The coven they made a truce with? Is that true, too?"

Seth nods again, looking over at me, waiting for my reaction. "Yes. Things are different with that though, now. It's . . . _complicated_, but basically us and that coven—the Cullens—are almost _partners, _I guess you could call it. There is no border between our land, now; we both move freely, and work together to protect the humans from the rogue vampires that come through Washington. We're close with them now."

"What changed?" I asked, not hiding the surprise in my tone.

"Oh, well," he says, looking away. "That's another story, for another time." I'm curious, but I don't push it; I know that there must be a reason why he doesn't want to tell me.

I lean back on the sand and shut my eyes. The sun warms my face, and I smile to myself. I can feel Seth watching me, but I don't mind it.

"What are you thinking?" he asks quietly, a smile in his voice now. Not worried. Not concerned. It's just a question.

"Nothing," I tell him honestly, peaking at him through my eyelashes. I scrunch my nose up when I smile, and he grins. "And it's fantastic. _This_ is exactly what I needed."

"I'm glad."

I slip my eyes shut, and spread my palms flat against the sand. After a weighted moment, Seth lays his hand on top of mine, curling his fingers over it and into the beach underneath us.

We stay like that, just touching, for what feels like hours but must only be minutes. I feel myself drifting along with the water that almost reaches my toes; I feel the waves breathing in time with me, pulse thrumming and heart racing. It's a rhythmic sound, melodic. Seth's fingers thrum against mine periodically, as if to some sort of song only he can hear.

"I miss this," he whispers, the waves almost carrying his words away. "I miss getting to just _be _with you."

I dig my heels into the wet sand; pull myself up on my elbows. "Things really changed when _you _changed, didn't they?"

I mean it as a rhetorical question, but he answers anyway. "I know they did, and I really wish they hadn't. I never wanted it to change things between us, Elsie."

I draw a heart with my toe in the sand. "I know you didn't. But things change." I shrug. "There comes a point for every person when everything changes. Probably more than one point, actually. For me, that was when Annie died. I changed. For you, it was when you shifted. It sucks, but change is necessary." I let out a breath. "If you hadn't shifted, hadn't left me for some time, I would never know that I couldn't live without you," I admit.

Seth presses his lips together, his eyes drinking me in. "I'm never going to forgive myself for that," he whispers. "Never."

"Seth," I argue. "I didn't _know. _You didn't tell me, so the only think I could come up with was that you just didn't want to see me. Or talk to me. But I know _now. _And if you can't forgive yourself—how do you expect me to forgive you?" I pause. "Which I already have, by the way. I probably did a while ago." Seth curls his fingers around mine again. I sigh. "It was never the fact of what you did, Seth. At least not for the most part. It was the fact that I thought you would do it again."

"I won't," he promises. "Never."

I smile a little bit, lying back down, this time on my side so I'm still facing him. He does the same. A small smile graces his lips as he lies there, watching me.

"What would you do," he starts, "if I kissed you?" He doesn't wait for answer, or to watch my cheeks color. Instead, he leans forward and kisses me.

Just.

Like.

That.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Being at Sam's house is, for the first time, uncomfortable. And, of course, it's just as I'm starting to feel _comfortable _with Seth. Jack's offhand comment about Emily comes to my mind as soon as the little house comes into view. I now have confirmation that Emily's scarring was the result of Sam shifting in front of her. Unintentionally, of course—he lost control—but still. What he'd almost done to Leah, I don't know. I know that she and Sam used to date, but that they broke up because of Emily. That their break-up hurt Leah a lot.

But the rest of Jack's accusations I don't know what to make of. I don't know what anyone could have done that is as awful as Jack made it out to be.

Seth holds my hand when we step through the door, our palms kissing. Jacob and Sam are waiting for us out back.

"You don't need to come with me," Seth says when we reach the kitchen. "I don't want you to be upset again."

I squeeze his hand. "I know you don't, Seth. But he's my brother." I lift my chin. "And I can take care of myself."

The look in his eyes tells me that he knows this—and that it scares him. He nods slowly, tightens his grip on my fingers before pulling me through the back door. Jake and Sam are standing on the steps, talking quietly. They look up at the sound of the door.

"Hey, hon," Sam says, throwing an easy arm around my shoulders and squeezing tight. "You okay?"

_I feel slightly sick to my stomach. _"Not too great," I admit. Again, like this morning, that feeling comes over me: the realization of how great of a man Sam is, how he's always looking out for me. My stomach unclenches.

Sam's eyes tighten. "What happened?" He looks to Seth. "Did something happen? Is that why you wanted to see me and Jake?"

We both nod. "It's Jack," I whisper, and Sam stiffens, his arm dropping from my shoulders.

"What did he do?" The sudden change in Sam's tone and stance is instantaneous. "_Did he hurt you_?"

My eyes cloud and Seth's hand tightens around mine again. I don't answer his question. "He said some things to me and Seth . . ."

"He threatened her," Seth elaborates, "and the pack."

Sam's gaze is steely now, darting between us angrily. "Tell me exactly what he said."

And so Seth does, recounting the entire conversation because I couldn't bear to, only leaving out the parts about Annie and my parents. When he's finished, he adds, "What exactly happened between the two of you?"

Sam lowers himself down onto the steps, and everyone else follows suit. "It was all stupid stuff," he starts. "High school stuff." He bites his thumb nail thoughtfully. "For most of our lives, we were best friends. Elementary school, middle school, part of high school. We did everything together. A week after my fifteenth birthday, I changed. The Cullens moved back to town that year. It was, of course, a huge deal with the council, but you know that.

"When I finally went back to school, Jack wasn't very welcoming. It had been weeks." Sam licks his lips, clasps his hands in his lap. "I know you all can relate to this. I couldn't blame him, and I couldn't tell him anything, so I covered it up best I could. I was sick, I was contagious, I couldn't leave the house. He got over it after a month or so, and things were fine. They went back to normal." He laughs nervously. "Well, you know. Aside from the fact that I was a werewolf, and I was alone.

"Leah and I started dating a few weeks after. That was when Jack started getting weird. I was always ditching him for her, and it pissed him off. I got it, but I loved her, and it was high school. I wanted to have fun, party with my girlfriend. Of course, there were other pressures, with being a wolf, but it was fine. I'd tell Leah when I had to, but I didn't want to ruin it. I waited.

"Jack came over to my house after a few months of me and Leah dating. This was the summer after freshman year. I was out back, about to shift. He hid, saw me do it, and came out running and screaming. 'You bastard!' he shouted at me. 'You liar!' I shifted back, and we had it out. And that was it for us—I'd messed up, I should've told him. He was my best friend, the council be damned. He was my only friend." Sam shrugs, but I can tell by the tightness of his eyes that he means what he's saying. "I met Emily. Things with Leah . . ." Sam looks at Seth, who nods slightly. "I never stopped loving her, but it was over. She was still friends with Jack for a while, I think. Until we graduated, at least, and he left for college. That was the same year Annie . . ." He trails off, meeting my gaze.

I nod. I knew the rest of the story. My throat feels tight. "Three years next week," I whisper. "That's why Jack's here. Or at least that's why I _thought _he was, but now . . ."

"We're missing something," Jake cuts in. "We have to be. Why would he come back and threaten us now, after all these years? Nobody keeps a grudge like that over high school drama for five years, Sam."

Seth shakes his head. "He's right. There needs to be something else."

"I can always go back," I put in, "while you're patrolling. Try and figure—"

"No," the three boys interject.

"We don't know what he's capable of," Jake adds. "He could hurt you to get to Sam. Or any of us, really, Elsie."

I swallow hard, looking at my hand tucked in Seth's. The thought that Jack could really hurt me makes me sick to my stomach.

"If you don't want to stay with Seth, you could always stay with Em and I," Sam offers. "You're always welcome here. Seth will be patrolling until late anyways, so all of the girls will be here."

I nod. "Thank you, Sam." He smiles a little, places his hand on my head and musses my hair. It's such a fatherly gesture that my heart aches. Sam stands and helps me up. Seth pulls me to his chest.

"We'll talk more after patrol," Sam says.

Jake nods his agreement. "It's past noon. Let's go eat lunch, and then it's off to patrol until twelve."

"Everyone?" Seth inquires, eyebrows raised. We walk inside and crowd around the kitchen counter.

Sam nods. "Even the Cullens. And some of the boys volunteered to come back for late dinner and then go back out. Pull an all-nighter. I have a sudden desire to get rid of this vampire problem before this new problem gets worse."

Jake adds, "Two deaths last night in Forks. Hikers."

Seth's eyebrows furrow. "Anyone we know?"

Sam shakes his head. "No, thank God."

"Tourists," Jake explains.

"I come bearing food!" Emily shouts, walking through the front door with Bonnie propped on her hip, a pacifier in her mouth.

"_Oh_, where?" Jake asks sweetly.

"In the car, kiddo. Seven extra large. Go on, get them. No_ eating!_ Not until everyone else is here. And the plain cheese is for the girls—hi, Elsie. Do you see what I have to deal with?"

I laugh at her flustered expression, and Seth presses a sloppy kiss to my cheek before running out the door with Jake to get the pizzas. I blush madly. Emily's jaw drops. She sets Bonnie on the floor before throwing herself at me, hugging me tightly.

"Really?" she exclaims.

I scrunch up my nose, embarrassed, but nod. Leaning her elbows on the counter, Emily sticks her tongue out at me. I lean towards her and say, quietly, "He kissed me today at the beach."

Emily clutches her chest dramatically, and then bursts out laughing. "Yay, Elsie. Really. I'm so happy for you. And him, too."

"El-ie," Bonnie yells, pacifier forgotten, before careening into my legs. I pull my fingers through her dark curls. "Hey, baby girl," I say to her. She scrunches up her nose watching me, and I laugh.

Emily points at me, mock-serious. "She got that from you. Your fault."

I grin widely and scrunch my nose at Bonnie, and she does the same back to me. Emily laughs. I glance over my shoulder out the front windows, and see all of the boys chatting outside, near Sam's truck. "It's just weird, you know," I tell Emily. "He's my best friend, and I've liked him for so long. I've _dreamed_ of this finally happening. And now that it has, I feel sort of . . . lost. I mean, I'm over the moon. I'm so happy. I just don't really know where we stand. We haven't been on a date before. We've never seen this side of our relationship. Does that make sense?"

Emily nods. "Sam and I never really had that in-the-middle faze. We just dove right into everything. But I see why that would confuse you." She picks up Bonnie almost absentmindedly, and continues, "Just go with the flow, Els. Really. Don't think into it too much. Knowing Seth, I guarantee you that if he didn't have to patrol the rest of the day you would be going on a date."

I shake my head, not arguing, just confused. "I just . . . how will I know if it's a date? Will it feel different? Will he ask me? So much of my life has been Seth and I together, as friends, so I just don't know what the changes will be."

Emily grins slyly. "Oh, honey. You'll know. I promise."

The boys start filing into the kitchen then, effectively ending our conversation.

"ELSIE!" at least five voices shout at once, and soon I'm surrounded by Quil, Jake, Jared, Sam, Collin, and Keon.

"_Finally_," Collin groans cheerfully. "My man grew a pair overnight, I guess."

Keon laughs loudly, and the rest of them follow suit. Bellows and guffaws follow from mostly everyone, and when the rest of the girls show up a few minutes later, they all roll their eyes at the scene before them.

"Hey, Elsie!" Kim shouts over everyone. I smile at her, ducking around Quil and behind the counter to stand with Emily.

"Were they like this with everyone?" I ask, dubious.

"Ha," Emily laughs.

"Just you," Kim says, finally having made her way through the crowd. "They didn't know any of us—not really, at least—before. They've all known you for forever. They love you." She rolls her eyes, but not spitefully. Her smile never leaves her face. She laughs lightly at my expression. "Oh, come on. They've been waiting years. Let them have their fun."

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**Sorry if it wasn't long enough; I just really wanted to update and I thought 3,000 + words would suffice. Love you all. Readers and reviewers make the world go 'round . . . _REVIEW!_ **


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